Me at the warehouse right across the street. A bit of explanation here... I got a decent beer buzz going on and decided to grab the camera and walk around. Started here at the warehouse, then next door to the medical center, then next door again to Stillwater. Honestly, I'm kinda embarrassed about so brazenly walking all over private property. I blame the beer.

My apartment building is right across the street, straight ahead in this picture. This is one of my favorite night shots.

Outside the Outpatient medical center. Stillwater in the background.

again

again

Outside Stillwater, my uncle's plant. I really had no business being here. I blame the beer.

again

Attack of the 14-foot Andy! Seriously, I don't normally go around trespassing like this. God, I hope Uncle Bill doesn't see this.

And here, saving the best for last, is the best moon picture I've ever taken. It boggles me that I didn't jiggle. The shutter must've been open for a few seconds.

You might have noticed that I haven't been saying boo about Iraq, Bush, Afghanistan, or anything like that. (bad hippie! bad bad bad hippie!) Honestly, it's because I don't think I have anything to say that somebody else hasn't already said. But yesterday in the break room at work, I was talking to somebody and they wondered why we don't just pull out of Iraq. Then a fresh reason struck me.

When I was in basic training in the Air Force learning to salute, they taught us never to put your hand level, as if you were shielding your eyes from the sun. Instead, when you touch your middle fingertip to your brow, you tilt the palm of your hand inward, as if you were hiding something. It's a cocky gesture. It brags that America has never lost a war.

"What about Vientam? Korea?" I hear you ask. Congress never declared war, so technically we've never lost one. Oh, we've run from plenty of conflicts with our tail between our legs, but never a war.

Anyway, the reason we don't pull out of Iraq is because Congress went and declared honest-to-goodness war. Simply for the sake of pride, we're gonna stay there until they can find some lame-ass excuse to say "We have won the war!", and then get the fuck out of that embarrassment. Otherwise, if we just up and left, Dubya would've launched the first war America has ever lost (or, not won. we never lose) in its history.

That, and we'd have to change our salute to palm-out... and that ain't never gonna happen.

A Parable

This, too, shall pass.

Ever the one to eschew (a word far underused) rules and regulations, I now officially declare a sixth tag on Chickpea.

I'm just so totally flattered that a semi-celebrity who has had, to this moment, 110,175 visitors to their site would come to my little trifle of a blog. Yay!

But I still double-dog-dare you, Miss Pea, to answer the tag. :-)

I don't want to be the center of your universe,
just one of the many stars shining within you.
I don't want to be your knight in armour,
just the place you find peace in this overwhelming world.

Spent last evening with Angela at Avalanche. After a couple of hours of pizza, beer, and completely uninhibited getting crap off our chests, she had to go. Shortly after, I am sitting there finishing off the pitcher and listening to that amazing singer (btw, her name is Stephanie Westfall). Two very attractive ladies (showing gratuitous clevage) take a seat two tables away from me. They are clearly drunk, and are not being subtle talking about sex. Every guy that approaches gets met with "Hey baby, what's your name?" I even catch the occasional "...that guy with the long hair over there..."

They were blurry enough that I could've (almost too) easily gone over and gotten my flirt on bigtime. Yet having this opportunity handed to me on a sterling platter, I didn't really care. After Angela left, I just wanted to listen to the band and leave.

---

She called tonight and asked if we wanted to go out for a drink, which is the first time she's called me. I am tickled to no end by this. I have another honest-to-goodness, wanna-hang-out-with-me friend! (yay!) Unfortunately, after paying a bill or two I am totally broke, and having busted my ass at work building up for Memorial Day weekend (the busiest of the year for us), and having stayed up so late last night, I am so goddamned tired my eyes feel all fuzzy staying up to tell you guys about this (and I'm sure the quality is lacking).

Dammit. I'd've loved to go out. But I needed to stay home tonight. Dammit.

Caro's flowers on our back porch step. I decided to shell out the extra dollar or two for a roll of Kodak High Definition 400 film. I wanted to see how it picked up purples, as I have noticed that film tends to wash them to a vague blue-ish lavendar. All in all, I am very pleased with the quality of the color and detail of the prints. Wal-Mart is selling little 12-exposure trial rolls of Kodak "Professional Color" film. I think after I burn off the roll that's in my camera now, I'll buy a couple of those.

Wolfe peeking up from his favorite dining room chair.

This is Lilly. Posted with her permission.

Lilly's tattoo. This is a memorial to her girlfriend, Orchid, who passed away.

Small portion of the Korean War Memorial. This part broke down the casualties by Ohio county. The sheer volume of names absolutely boggled me.

Dayton skyline from the Riverside Dr. bridge.

The address was "329", but the nine looked like it was smiling.

By the Riverscape in Dayton, they put up all these neat interactive sculptures commemorating inventions that came from Dayton. Did you know that the cash register, pop-top soda can, and the single-lever ice tray all came from here?

Ladder on the front of a building. There is razor wire around the base to keep people from climbing.

Underside

Street light post. Rev. Cool hosts a show, "Around the Fringe" on friday nights on WYSO. (they stream over the internet...hint hint)

Old sign. The building is still home to an auto repair shop.

This is just a portion of a beautiful mural on the outside wall of a ballet school. I'd never seen this before, as I never really drive around this end of Dayton.

Detail of the ballet school mural.

Some guy was laying on the sidewalk by Fifth Third Field, holding himself up with the fence. This struck me as odd, but I didn't want to piss him off by standing there and aiming the camera, so I was just walking by with the camera hanging waist-high off my shoulder. Without stopping, I was all subtle-like in reaching down to the camera, pointing it at him, hitting the shutter, and letting it go really quickly. I hoped this one would turn out.

I was meandering past Fifth Third Field back to the car when some guy dressed in business clothes and carrying an attache case hurried past me. I thought this plus the urban setting would make a good picture.

Me outside the back door of Figlio, which is right next to Books & Co. Coincidentally, this is the same outfit I was wearing when I took these pictures a month or two ago.

These are the photos taken the day I took my ring off. I love the afternoon light that comes in through my west-facing bedroom window.

Again.

Again.

Again.

Made a new friend today

Ok, so not exactly new, but somewhat better now. Went to sell some used books at Browse Awhile Books in Tipp City, and got to talking with Lilly, the girl who runs the place (most of the time). I like Lilly. She's kinda cute and has this sort of easy grin/smartass attitude/SCA ren fest/witchy/I-could-talk-to-her-for-hours/out in the open kind of appeal.

Anyways, after she gave the usual generous price for our books, I asked to take her picture (as I am trying to get more people pictures) I'm gonna develop the roll and have it posted tomorrow. So I mention to her my Flickr page, and we end up exchanging blog addresses. She's also in the process of setting up an online business, Amberlilys, and asked if I would be a guinea pig to get a male perspective on their lotions and stuff. I tell her I can put on the testosterone attitude to give her a manly point of view, but she says that any guy who gets on a site to order lotion is probably more like the real me than a jarhead. Oh... yeah. Good point. :-)

"Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?"

I was tagged a few days ago by Raven to list ten things I've never done. I didn't get this until now, because I access my blogs by my sidebar instead of typing them in. When I put Raven on my links, I accidentally made the hyperlink go to "ravenslong" instead of "ravenslog", so I thought her blog was down or something.

A freudian whip? I mean slip? :-)

Anyhoo, here are Ten Things I've Never Done:

1) Given/recieved oral sex in a movie theater. I hope to remedy this... both ways.
2) Shrooms
3) The Macarena
4) Body shots. Not even sure exactly what that is, but it sounds fun.
5) Eaten escargots
6) Been stuffed into a locker. Being the fat kid had its benefits.
7) Won a game of billiards
8) Held a tarantula
9) Serenaded my true love at her bedroom window
10) Chased a tornado... or even seen one, for that matter. I hope to remedy this... both ways.

I tag Texas Gurl, Nanabear, Mila (if she still reads me), Orb, and Mr. Unknown Commenter.

That's one small step for an everyday shmoe...

But one giant leap for your dear Grover. Today, under urging, I removed the wedding band. I was going to wait until all was said and done and official, but now that it's off I can't imagine putting it back on.

Strangely, I'm getting weird blend of feelings. It's unnatural yet burden-relieving. Bordering on uncomfortable, yet incredibly freeing. I took some pictures of my left hand this afternoon, my finger still freshly dented, tanned, and chapped where the ring was. This seemed far too important an event not to document. What a brave new world this has suddenly become.

---

I was looking at the Found Photos site again, and I realized something. I've always felt that my pictures lack something, and I realized that it's human presence. Unless I'm taking a photo of myself, or maybe some stray passer-by, I don't have any people to take pictures of. My camera is a way of communicating the world that I see, and the little details that I busy with to distract myself in lieu of other people in my life to interact with. I realized, fuck, I'm really lonely.

But! But, but, but... lest this be a downer of a post, I have a silver lining. With the ring removal came a shift in attitude. I will not wait until November to start my life. I am not going to let external decisions control me like that. A few weeks ago I joined the Yahoo group for Dayton Gay/Lesbian/Bi/Trans social events, and got an email from a gay couple here in Troy asking if I wanted to get together. Not a sex thing, just hang out. I told them that I was waiting until I was free in September. Well, I emailed them back apologizing for the brush-off, and that I'd love to get together. On top of this, I emailed Angela and we're getting together again Thursday at Avalanche. Now that I've gotten everything off my chest to her, this will be the first time I can fully relax and just enjoy her company. Looking very forward to that.

Yes, I'm lonely, but my social life is slowly and surely re-animating back into functionality. Wish me luck!

I Like Mondays

No, really. That's not sarcasm. It's nice to get back around all my friends here. The highlight, though, is asking Party Boy how his weekend went. Each week he has a new adventure story, and today was no exception.

His tale of drunken debauchery this week included a hotel room with a jacuzzi, several of his friends, entirely too much alcohol, and girls in bikinis... and he was taking pictures of it all.

First thing out of my mouth, "Really, what kind of camera?"

*sigh*

Some of the white blossoms turned purple before a good rain came and blew them all off. This is my sling patio chair after the shower.

again

again

Vanishing point and sunset outside Stillwater.

Moon through a tree outside Stillwater.

Sunset over the highway.

again

Fountain in the Koi pond.

Japanese bridge over the Koi pond out front of the Stillwater / Motoman building.

again

me

This is an old train station. The tracks above are the same line as the afore-posted bridge series. There are still old floor tiles under all that garbage. Even though there are "No Trespassing" signs posted all around, there is no fence to keep anybody out. So, one fine day, I decided to take me a peek. It was really dark under there, as evidenced by how the camera's iris had to open wide and make the sunlight outside super intense.

There was some colorful graffiti on a wall just beyond the station, but it got washed out in the sunlight.

Ludlow Street in the background. There was this recliner just sitting there. I imagined some street bum sitting there at night with his bottle of Wild Irish Rose.

Forest of pillars

Electric bus cables in dowtown Dayton.

Detail of a building on 5th street right down from the Sinclair parking garage.

This was meant just as another reflection self portrait, but with the slightly motion-blurred student behind me, it became a statement on the current state of my life. There I am on a college campus, students with books (and lives) blurred in forward motion, while I have nothing better to do than to stand there with my hands in my pockets. No forward motion.

Good news...

Groovy new update on the movie blog. Good things happening soon.

Armand, my bestest buddy

D-Day bumped back from September to October. Nixed my MySpace page. Glorified dating service, that's all MySpace really is. Maybe I'll start it back up in 4 or 5 months.

---

I've been worrying about this. I keep asking myself if I find the right girl, will I be able to keep interest in her for long? How long will it take for my eye to start roving, and I start complaining about being trapped? Is history doomed to repeat itself? Will I be fair to her, will I be a good boyfriend, or will I just end up fucking her over? I don't want to do that.

Then I found hope in something today: my cat, Armand. I realized that he was born just about when I got married seven years ago. Today I was laying on the bed watching American Chopper when he hopped up and curled next to me. To this day, I still find him irresitably adorable. I still want to pick him up and squeeze the feline lovin out of him. I still look forward each day to coming home and scritching his furry little tummy. After seven years, I haven't even begun to feel "trapped" by my obligation to him.

Sure, Armand may rub up against other peoples' legs, he may even curl with somebody else at night. He may solicit a little attention from other people right in front of me as I am promiscuously petting other cats. But I know that in the end, he's my #1 favorite cat and I'm his #1 favorite person, and we're totally inseperable.

And so I think that if I found the right person, as long as the love remains unconditional and without strings, I think I could still find them irresistably adorable and want to squeeze the lovin out of them every single day, even after seven years (and far beyond). This encourages me.

I'm only Andy. I am not a knight in shining armour. I can't sweep you off your feet. I'm not very well endowed, and if it's a good day I can last about 30 seconds. But, like Armand, I have pure unconditional love to give, with no strings attached, as long as it is sincerely returned. Just the pure feline love of a cat who wants to curl up against you and purr for a while.

Glass grape bunch windchime hanger. Sun was behind, so I thought it would make a good photo.

And now for the photos from a few weeks ago. Let's go in a rough chronological order. Starting in the Oregon District...

Oregon District. Unique iron fence post tops.

Oregon District. I can't pass up flowers like that.

Frayed cable next to the bridge. That's some pretty thick steel cable, I wonder what could've snapped it like that.

Another multi-layer depth shot. In the distance in the bottom center is the "tower" at the center of Sinclair's campus, the shadow of which I was resting in when I was sitting next to the guys hitting on the women.

Bridge detail. Basically I'm just trying to mimic the photos I like where cropped letters or numbers become abstract shapes.

Wide shot of bridge and rubble surrounding the factory. For the shot of myself, I set the camera on the leaning wall in the center, and you can see the foot of the ramp on the right.

I loves me my "vanishing point" photos.

The smokestack.

Ivy and urban decay.

again

I was tempted to walk down there, but was afraid of getting mugged or something. Actually, at this point, I got the heebie-jeebies and started walking back.

At the factory

me.

This is my piece de resistance. The one that I mentioned as being so good that it made my guts all tingly as I pressed the shutter. How mysterious...doesn't it pack an emotional punch?

Wow....doesn't this really get your imagination going? Who is Kelly? Who wrote this? What the hell did they do to have so much fun?

What the fucking hell is this?

Ok, so that was a little over-emphatic

That's what you get when you combine the flash of anger (and grief, somewhat), an unusually long, exhausting, and otherwise bad mood day with blogging at 2am. I was expecting to check out my favorite blog and be comforted by some fresh new witticism or anecdotal wisdom that I've grown so fond of (which I considered to be the highlight of my day), but instead am greeted with a total erasure of the past and a goodbye caused by circumstances beyond anybody's control.

I am half tempted to delete the previous post before too many people read it, but that would be neither fair to you or true to myself. This blog is the sleeve upon which I wear my heart. And it broke last night.

When I said I fell in love with Citrus, I didn't mean the kind between he and Hugo. This isn't some "I ain't gay" speech, either, because I clearly have tendancies in that direction. I looked up to Citrus, and had developed a deep admiration and affection for him. I didn't even realize just how much he meant to me until I sat there staring blankly at the monitor for a minute or two, eyes welling up. Maybe I had started to develop feelings otherwise... I don't know.

I know this sounds a bit like a eulogy, and to a certain degree, it is. I feel like I suddenly and unexpectedly lost a dear friend without the opportunity to say goodbye.

So, goodbye Citrus. I wish you the best of luck. Love to you and Hugo.

FUUUUUUUUCK!!

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

What am I going to do now?? Citrus, my email is grovermatic@gmail.com. Let me know what the hell is going on. Don't leave. Don't just vanish. I realized too late now that I went and fell in love with you.

Whoever you are you nazi republican motherfucker, you have my picture. You know where I am. You know my name. Stop by and I'll show you just what 260 lbs. of tree-hugging touchy-feely peace-and-love pissed the fuck off liberal puss can do to you.

Identity Crisis #2

Googled "Andy Hutchinson". Come to find out, I'm a...

Link 1 ...pretentious goof.
Link 2 ...British fishing enthusiast.
Link 3 ...member in a band in Bowling Green, Ohio. That's not too far from here.

Golly, I'm a busy guy!

Tree outside my apartment before the blooms fell off to make room for the leaves. 

I like the layers and depth of this one.  

One final day to reach into the sky. 

Once gothic, noble, and proud, reduced to rubble.  

Half-fallen girder. 

Dayton. 

Economy building. Same day and location, but different roll of film from the train bridge series. 

Building at Sinclair. 

Another angle. 

Train overpass behind Sinclair's parking garage. 

Ivy on the side of the same train overpass. 

Ivy 

Fifth street. Sinclair's art building to the right. About a mile down, this becomes the main drag of the Oregon District. 

Church on 4th street down from Sinclair. Dome visible in This picture. 

I like this one. It looks so ancient and imposing with that huge tree limb. 

Positive / negative  

Tulips in teh garden outside the church 

Again 

People kept saying this looked like a post card. 

me. again. 

Sinclair shuttle bus driver smoking a cigarette and waiting for passengers. My first foray into portraits of "everyday people". There was this lady I had just passed who was parked in the area where people stop to pick up students, and she had her doors open and gospel music playing. She was just smiling and dancing and clapping. I really wish I'd've gotten a picture of that.  

Grover learns a lesson

So last night I went to Avalanche to meet Angela and hear that amazing singer again. I arrive about a half hour early and start getting a little liquid courage in my system. The male half of last week's couple is there, and the lady who was calling me cute comes in shortly after. Ok, so it turns out I do get beer goggles just a little. She isn't much to look at, but he's still very handsome. I wonder if they recognize me as the drunk weird guy from last thursday.

Angela arrives as I am a little less than halfway through the pitcher, so I ask for another mug and we grab a table. I expected to be all nervous and get bats in my stomach, but more than anything it was just cool to sit back and chill. I'm not going to go into much personal detail, but here's the key points:

Rico Grover Suave here has been thinking all week about how to bring up the ultimate bean-spilling. I was gonna be all, "Oh, there's this girl from work...conflicted...really like her...should I tell her...", and when she says that I should, I was going to say "Well, it's you." And she'd be taken by such surprise that she would swoon into my arms and everybody would ride off into the sunset and be happy for ever after.

But no. No, I just blurt it out like a dumbass. I spend the evening trying my damnedest to be subtle, but only keep popping off several years' worth of pent-up confessions, usually followed with "Oh, shit, I can't believe I just said that."

And she neither swooned nor bolted. As usually happens, instead of the two reactions I was expecting, life served me a third new, unforseen, and wholly appropriate outcome. We became much better friends.

Wise beyond her years, Angela is. Five years my junior, yet decades beyond in understanding and maturity. Some day, well on down the road, I hope to embody just a fraction of the smarts this girl exhibits. I learned from her.

I tell her that we would make a good team. Couple scares me, and she doesn't want that anyway. But I say that as a team, we could be a force of nature. She agrees.

I can't always get what I want, but in trying last night I found I got exactly what I needed. A closer friend.

Thunderstormthunderstormthunderstorm! Yeeee! 

This is the train bridge right next to Sinclair Community College in Dayton, and the smokestack is from the empty factory that I crossed the river and took pictures of last week. I haven't developed that roll yet, this one is from several weeks ago. 

Bridge and Reynolds & Reynolds building across the highway 

Bridge and smokestack 

Bridge and factory across the river. 

Bridge 

Bridge detail 

Bridge detail. I liked how the rivets cast their long shadows. 

Bridge detail 

Bridge 

Bridge 

Bridge 

I had hoped to get better silhouettes of the two people crossing, but you can still see them. Dont' worry, it's a two-track wide bridge.  

Fence by the train bridge. That's the train passing by behind. The action setting on my camera is awesome. I took a picture of a helicopter once, and the rotors aren't even blurry. It looks like it is just floating there inanimately. 

Train Bridge. I love the just slightly out of focus peeling rusty metal behind the sunlit leaves. 

DP&L power plant being torn down. This was the money shot that collapsed most of the roof with a thunderous rumble. Being an old coal-burning plant, I wonder how many decades of soot were released. 

Cloud of soot from the money shot. I swear it had to go over US Rt. 35, a very busy highway.  

Self-portrait. 2nd floor of Building 2 at Sinclair. 

View down 4th St. from the second floor of Building 2 at Sinclair. 

"Better far than a metaphor can ever, ever be..."

It's amazing, the effect a simple act of kindness can have on you. After making and wearing the flourite pendant, I have been feeling like a million dollars all day. That lo-res webcam picture really doesn't do justice. The only way I can desribe the color is if the sky were green instead of blue, then that flourite would be the color of a clear sunny day. That lady was so nice, and it really seemed like she wanted me to have it out of genuine concern for my well-being. I've been floating on this feeling of being loved all day.

Well... that, and Angela accepted my invitation to meet me at Avalanche Lounge on thursday after work. And it wasn't just an, "oh. ok. I guess I'm not doing anything else", but a resounding "I am definitely up for it!"

Can I tell you something? Yeah? Ok:

I'm going to tell her how I feel about her then. People, I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since that friday, and I'm going to burst if I don't get it out in the open. And it's not some weird sexual psychotic pervy daydreaming either. Not one little bit. I miss being around her. If I do catch myself drifting off to la-la land with her in mind, I'm picturing nothing more than us sitting there at the table at L&V pouring our hearts out at each other. Do you know how wonderful it feels to be trusted by somebody you admire, so much so that they let you in on some very personal stuff? It's nothing short of a complete honor, and I felt so priviledged and humbled to be there with her.

Anyway, it's crunch time. Do or die. Make or break. Take or leave. Or, as the little boy in "Love Actually" said, "Let's go get the shit kicked out of us by love."

I'll keep you posted...

This morning I took the bit of flourite I was given yesterday to work with me. On my morning break, I went over to Electrical and asked for a bit of scrap 14-gague solid copper wire. With my pliers, I twisted the wire around the flourite with a little loop at the top and made a pendant to put on my frog necklace I got in New Orleans at the Bywater Art Market. 

On Second Thought...

I've been relatively tight-lipped here at work about my impending
split. Only a select few who I talk to on a regular basis know.
Well, Caro came in today to drop my lunch off on her way to school,
and mentioned it to one of the front desk girls. The whole store will
know by 4pm today.

You know, maybe that isn't such a bad thing. You should see all the
women (and a few of the guys ;-) that work here. This could turn out
well for your dear Grover...

Talking Crystals

So Caro and I spend the day walking around Yellow Springs (incidentally, hometown of Dave Chappelle). Time is limited, so I'll just tell you about the cool part.

After lunch at Peach's Grill, we walk over to this little pagan shop full of a whole rainbow of polished stones, wiccan stuff, incense, and whatnot. Meandering about, my attention is grabbed by this little 8-sided crystal. It's the shape of two pyramids sitting base to base with several layers different colors. I forget exactly what that geometric figure's called. Anyway, the shopkeeper tells me that it's flourite from China. I tell her that I don't want to put it down, I just want to keep holding it. She says that it's for aura cleansing, and that it's talking to me. Hey, I'm open minded. The skeptic in me says "Hooey!", but the idea tickles my imagination nonetheless.

We look at some other stuff, and Caro buys a sage stick. As we are leaving, the shopkeeper walks over to the trays of tumbled rocks and hands me a small clear polished crystal of the most enchanting shade of green. "Have this flourite. It's yours." she says. I thank her, and fidget with it all the way home.

Life is suddenly getting very interesting

Interesting night last night. I live within walking distance of the Avalance Lounge inside the Best Western. Bored out of my gourd and armed with a few spare dollars, I decide to walk over and see what's what.

Beer is $4 for a pitcher. I've never tried to drink an entire pitcher before. I figure there's no greater time than now to try. There is a band of sorts playing, and the girl singing is melting me into puddle. Pleasingly curvy with a neo-hippie appeal and ear to ear smile. She sings everything from Janis Joplin to Norah Jones to Evanescence, equally deft at belting out gravelly blues or tearing my heart out of my chest at a near whisper. Between sets, I ask her to sing something a cappella. She gives me a weird look and says that nobody's ever asked that of her before. With enough liquid courage in my system, I tell her that I'm falling in love with her voice. She seems genuinely flattered.

The set passes, the show ends, and no solo. En route to the loo, though, she catches me and says she wants to give me an a cappella song. So there, in the middle of the lounge floor, juke box blaring in the background in an entirely different key, she starts singing Henry Mancini's Romeo and Juliet love theme.

And there we stood, I Beren, and she Luthien Tinuviel.

I forget what I said after she finished, it was probably just more gushing babble... I was starstruck. She she goes back to her people and I to the bathroom.

---

Flashforward to working on pitcher #2. I have struck up a conversation with the lady standing by me who is dancing in place to the jukebox. I ask her to dance, and she accepts. "We've Got Tonight" comes on. It feels both sweet and slightly mischevious to have a promiscuous slow dance.

But this is where things get weird.

She's there with a friend and her friend's boyfriend. We're all talking, and when intoxicated, I hold absolutely no secrets in. My bisexuality is somehow brought up. Her (very drunk) friend starts telling me that I'm cute, and urging her boyfriend to take me home with them. He says he's not in the mood for a guy tonight, and then she starts getting all pissy with him telling him "Oh, suuuuure, but it's ok that we have threesomes with other women!"

Dude. At this point I really haven't said anything about being willing or not. She just assumes I'm up for it. So I'm kinda standing there not saying much, totally confused and trying to make sense of what the hell is going on.

The bar closes and I stumble the 1/2 mile or so back home, utterly puzzled by what just happened.

Excellent picture of Wolfe. 

The obligatory picture of myself. Note the short hair and distinct lack of holiday pounds still haunting me. 

Mom's garden last year. 

Mom's garden last summer. Isn't this one spectacular? :-) 

Late summer crab apples. 

Late summer. Echinacea and bumblebee. 

Detail from sculpture by my sister's good friend, artist Ed Casagrande. 

Detail from sculpture by artist Ed Casagrande. 

Cozy, Armand, and Caro's legs. 

Armand 

Armand 

Armand 

Armand  

Je suis une traviste d'action!

So there I am in the break room at Lowe's, and on breaks and lunch I take off my ballcap and elastic hair-tie-band-thingy and let my scalp breathe a bit. Today I was in the company of Strawberry Shortcake and Elf Girl. So named because one is a short little redhead and has a shirt that says "Strawberry Shortcake, sweet and creamy", and the other because she just looks like she could have pointy ears and be an elf. Don't take that wrong, she's adorable. She's pretty. I love her to pieces. She just looks like a cute little elf. Anyway, Strawberry starts teasing me about my hair and says I should put it in a bundle sticking straight up like Pebbles from The Flintstones. So she comes over and does just that. Elf Girl is greatly amused, and so am I. Since I have additional bands in my pocket, I decide to one-up her and go for two pigtails sticking out the side. So I do. Elf mentions that with my necklace, that really looks feminine. I've got a girly face, I admit it. Just then, Kitchen Queen, an openly gay guy whom I love to pieces as well walks in, sees me, and starts laughing. I tell him that I was just telling the girls about my experience with makeup.

Just then I hear a rustling noise behind me. I turn around to see that some new guy came in unbeknownst to me through the other door behind me and was getting in his locker. He is giving me a seriously weird look as he walks out.

I'm in pigtails and talking about wearing makeup.

"Oh, shit!" I exclaim. Strawberry, Elf, Queen, and I all nearly die laughing.

Stop the presses!

Ladies and gentlemen of the academy, I have just discovered a breakthrough in the reproductive sciences. It's a contraceptive both men and women can use that is inexpensive and absolutely 100% effective:

Garlic Bologna

Just eat a few slices, and until you brush your teeth, ain't nobody gonna touch you with a 10 foot pole. *burp*

Town & Country shopping center behind Books & Co. in Kettering. Pardon the crooked scans, I forgot to have these put on photo CD and had to use a flatbed scanner. That brilliant purple sunset isn't altered in Photoshop or anything. The "No Parking" sign honestly wasn't meant to be so front and center, but really I think it makes a great composition. This was meant to be a perspective shot. 

Straight down the center. I like the perspective. Holding the print, you feel like you could just fall into it. 

another angle 

This photo most closely resembles the way I feel inside. 

Brilliant sunset. I was basically dancing around the parking lot like an idiot basking in the brilliant rust-colored light. I like how this shot is framed by the power pole and light pole. 

"You may say that I'm a dreamer..." 

Behind Books & Co. 

Ghostly Andy! 

My and my belly chillin on the back porch. 

Tree over my back porch 

Tree over my back porch 

Cossette 

Dayton Power and Light power plant being torn down. Taken from the 4th floor of the art building at Sinclair Community College 

And now for something completely different...

Had a nice long chitchat with Chickpea tonight. God, she's a real kick in the pants. Anyway, I have reached a turning point. Having gotten enough varied and pertinant feedback and points of view on my worries from Yvonne, Angela, and now Chickpea, I have recieved all the reassurance I need to stop worrying.

So from now on, NO MORE POOR ME BITCHING. I mean it, Grov. Stop subjecting these poor people to your "the glass is half empty" attitude. I'm sick of it. I don't want to hear it anymore. MOVE THE FUCK ON WITH YOUR LIFE.

There. I feel better now.