Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Browse Awhile

Went and sold some more books to Lilly at the bookstore today. Her little girl, Shorty, asked in a very proper and important tone "Trading or selling?" as I approached the counter with my bag of books. She's the cutest little kid. Anyway, I think Lilly was trying to send her male customers (including me) into cardiac arrest wearing a tight shirt, just short enough to display her belly piercing.



For all you photomaniacal readers, might I direct your attention to a Chicago-based photolog called Gapers Block. You can thank me later.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

DUUUDE!! The Presidents of the United States of America are back together!

happydance! happydance! happydance! happydance!

Monday, June 27, 2005

And miles to go before I sleep...

This week has truly been an exercise in sleep deprivation. Wednesday night: 2 hours of sleep. Thursday night: Out with Angela and her man, bed by 2. Friday night: Club. 2 hours o'slumber. Saturday night: spend night at Dad's. Basically just fall unconscious after dinner and sleep like a corpse. All I remember is laying down, and then dad starts making coffee because it's 10 am, and I haven't moved from the original position in which I hit the couch.


I was thinking about Guantanamo Bay. When we started bombing Iraq, we saw it live on TV because there were American reporters in Baghdad streaming images back to us. All sorts of international reporters were there doing the same. Then I wondered, hypothetically, what if reporters from Iraq or Afghanistan were in a hotel in Washington DC when a wave of terrorist attacks broke out, and they were there filming it all and beaming the footage back to the mideast? They'd be arrested so fast it'd make your head spin, accused of collecting intelligence, labelled "enemy combatants", and whisked off to the dungeon in Cuba, effectively erased from existance never to be seen or heard from again.

Saddam Hussein is a ruthless tyrant. Why weren't the international reporters arrested in Baghdad? Why did Iraqi authorities allow them not only to remain, but also to broadcast back to the same countries bombing the fuck out of Baghdad?


Cutest things at work on Saturday... there was this guy who looked somewhere in his 20's with a long mohawk. He was carrying around a little boy who looked just about before toddler-hood, and sported a matching mohawk. It was adorable! The guy was cooing and tickling his kid's nose, just with matching punk hairdos. Then, there were these two guys who were speaking a language that sounded kinda, but not quite, like Russian. In the bathroom, on the diaper changing table, one of the guys was speaking to the little kid in the language, and the kid was chattering back to him. It was so damned cute.

Saturday, June 25, 2005

I'm a closet Goth. Really.

To make a long story short (as it is again 4:30am and I am tired), we went out to gothic night (fridays) at Fusion, a club in downtown Dayton. I met a very lovely and charming girl named Sarah with whom I shared many pleasant dances with. At the end of the night, I walked her out as far as I'd have to pay admission to get back in, and gave her a kiss goodbye. Before she left, though, she gave me her email address, and I gave her mine. I'm going to try to go back next Friday. I guess somewhere along the way I said I'd go to Denny's with her and her friend (whose name I forget, but she had several attractive tattoos and a penchant for Nine Inch Nails) afterward, but I'm having trouble remembering saying that. Probably a friendly mix of the Jack Daniels and ear-splitting music. Kinda hard to talk over it. I do feel a bit like an asshole for backing out on that, but were I there all by me onesy, I'd've been out the door with her in a heartbeat. She was really cute!

There's a lot more details, including a kick ass goth/techno band, and that I was wearing my kilt with no underwear (which Sarah's friend found out for herself), but I'm just too damned exhausted to elaborate further. I'm off to bed for another power nap before heading out to work tomorrow (today?). This week has truly been an exercise in sleep deprivation, but I'm holding up surprisingly well. Wish me luck!

Wednesday, June 22, 2005


Right now I'm sitting on the edge of something so big that the course my life is on may be forever altered, the gravity of which really has yet to set in. At least I can recognize my ignorance, and can take these last few hours of innocense to fondly reminisce over the relative safety of my protected life up to this point, but also let my imagination wander of the mountains of my future, unknowable yet inevitable. I take this next step with bated breath...

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

A bit cocky, but right on the mark.

I got on Chipotle's website and left in a comment what I told you guys... that I would seriously whore myself for one of their burritos. They sent me the following reply:


Of course you would. Who wouldn't?


Joe Stupp
Manager, Duct Tape and Plungers

Monday, June 20, 2005

Saw this on I Am, and had to post it. Notice anything weird about this cover?

No, nothing is wrong...

Quite to the contrary, things are better now than they've been in remembered history. I've just been way too busy to post anything, but definitely not for lack of material. I was giving the last post time to "marinate" and soak up some comments, as well as making sure people read my reply comment.

In case you didn't, here's the main point: To clarify the last post, when I said "Maybe she already has...", I was referring to the setting me free bit. She has. I realized as I was typing the post that I have had such a tremendous boost to my mood and confidence since we started our Thursday thing.


I would whore myself for a Chipotle burrito.


Two of the ladies at the front desk at work mysteriously started referring to me as "Mr. Popularity". The front being where all the hot-as-hell cashiers are, this immediately gets my imagination going...


I have, for planning purposes, counted back from when the set date is that I will be all by me onesy. I have 23 weeks to finalize preparations.


More in a bit...

Friday, June 17, 2005

Met up, as usual, with Angela at Avalanche. I had a couple of thoughts swimming through my head that I wanted to get her feedback on. Of course, the conversation started with catching up on the week's news, but inevitably steered to the topic of relationships and sex. Last week she gave me the dire advice not to try to use sex to fill in that empty gap inside. I've been thinking a lot about that, since at the time it seemed she was giving me half advice, and half confession. Bringing up what I mentioned in my reply comment on the previous blog post, I asked her what she thought about the soul and the sex not necessarily having to come from the same source.

She agreed it doesn't. So I asked her if I could be the one to fill that empty space, so that she can go and live her life to it's fullest, free from the worry and guilt. I told her that I was also worried about the meaninglessness of sex with my recent round of email contacts until I thought of her, and the worry disappeared. I felt complete knowing that there's always Thursday night with her. I wanted her to feel the same way about me. She gave me a look, the closest word I can find for the expression on her face, was relief.

Today I started reflecting on the lessons I always end up learning from her, and asking myself questions. If she ever developed feelings additional to the friendship, could she be someone to set me free? I think maybe. Or maybe not... who knows? I'd donate internal organs for the opportunity to find out, though. Like I posted before, I told her that I don't want to be the center of her universe, just one of the many stars shining within her. She says that I already am. Maybe she already has...

If our relationship, up until the day we die, never moves past meeting weekly to bare our troubled hearts to each other over beer and appetizers, I'll still be as happy as a clam. She's trusted me with her heart, and I can always know that while other men may enjoy the priviledge of her physicality, I hold what is inside of her, and that's infinitely more satisfying.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Party Boy

Remember Party Boy? There's a little back story I never mentioned. He comes and talks to me a couple of times a day, and mostly it's just boredom induced BS-ing. Every once in a while, though, he talks about the real stuff going on in his life, and usually it somehow boils down to his ex-girlfriend who dumped him four months ago. You can tell he still has feelings. Sure, he'll talk about the women he's dated, flirted with, and/or had sex with, but he always references his ex.

Well, to make a long story short, she realized the error of her ways, having left Party Boy (who overflows with tons of heart, try as he might to hide it) for a real jerk-off. Over the weekend she got back in touch with him, and last night they got back together. Today, Party Boy was absolutely glowing and giddy as a little kid. All he could talk about was how he always loved her, and how she never stopped talking about him to her friends at work. He even said that he always knew she was the one to be the mother of his children. I couldn't help but recall the Bryan Adams line "And when you see your unborn children in her eyes, you know you really love a woman." It was sweet when she came to visit him today. You should've seen the way they looked at each other. It was just so damned sweet.

To reference another song lyric, "Desperado" says "Freedom? Well, that's just some people talking. Your prision is walking through this world all alone." Party's mature enough to feel that way. Chickpea has been hinting in that direction. Texas Gurl is lamenting her solitude. For a good while now, I've been saying that I'd rather be eaten by a shark than get into another relationship. I'd rather be mauled by a fucking grizzly bear than tied down. But then, in an email to Chickpea about her latest post, I agreed with her when she says that she's a rare catch. I said that she's a rare bird, and there are a lot of people who would love to cage her, but there are also others who would set her free.

Then I thought, could I turn my own preaching around on myself? Should I be so abjectly afraid of relationships? Sure, I'm gonna have to be wary of those would posess me, but maybe, just maybe, it is possible that I may find somebody who could set me free? Somebody who would make me infinitely happier than if I were left walking through this world all alone.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Sex Life v2.0

So last night your dear Grover gets an email from a fellow member of the Dayton area GLBT Yahoo group expressing interest in "discreet fun". I respond with a little flirty-flirty of my own. My dry spell may be quenched a little sooner than anticipated...
Today's fortune, from a Bazooka bubble gum wrapper: "You can get what you want by asking the right person."

Ooh... tantalizing!

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Very very cool

Texas Gurl emailed me this link to a site called "Opacity", where this guy breaks into old decaying spooky structures such as TB hospitals, mental facilities, etc., and takes really haunting (pun intended) photographs.
"Andy Pants"


Friday, June 10, 2005


Count them, people. Go into my profile and click on Ohio. Exactly FORTY people in this entire state keep weblogs through Blogger. That's THIRTY NINE people other than myself. WTF??

And I wonder why my closest blog friend is 450 miles away.
Just got off the phone after a four hour long conversation with Chickpea. God, what a charismatic person, and all around kick in the seat. On her cell, we went from her apartment to shop at Target, slurpee at 7-11, back to her place, to the bathroom, and changed in to pajamas. I took her into the bathroom too, and let me tell you, I don't think I've ever done that to anybody. I just felt totally at ease and relaxed talking to her, as if she were an old familiar friend. (I told her to consider herself initiated) From this moment forward, I count her as another addition to my pantheon of close personal friends.

One note: Don't cut her off while driving, or you will experience her Squirrely Wrath. It's terrifying. :-)
I dropped it, sat back, and basked.

And it was wonderful.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Lillies outside Winan's Coffee shop here in town. This is a 12-exposure sample roll of Kodak's "Professional Ultra-Color 400" film. The color's ok, I guess. Nothing I'd write home about. I'm more pleased with their High Definition film, or even their everyday 200.
Lollypops in a can inside Winan's Coffee and Candy shop.
Better angle.
Grilling for one of the booths at the Troy Strawberry Festival. It was hotter than hell Sunday, I can't imagine what it felt like over those barbecues.
Table full of those little Mexican style bobble-head figures.
View of the festival from the Adams St. Bridge. It's a pretty big to-do, considering each and every little tent. They use the flood plane beneath the levee for volleyball, rock performances, hovercraft races, launching hot air balloons, etc.
A tall skinny updraft captured from my apartment parking lot. I wish I had a wider angle than 28mm to get more of this.
The rays are more defined in this one. Too bad this didn't develop into a good popcorn storm. Sun went down soon after and lost the afternoon heating.
This is the fountain on the traffic circle where Troy's two main streets intersect. Masonic temple in the background, and our courthouse dome in the back-background. We ordered sandwiches from Submarine House, and I drove to pick them up. Being only a block east of the square, and having the camera in the van, I couldn't resist taking the hike to burn off my last two exposures.
The fountain catches the sunlight better in this one.
Ever the eternal skeptic, I only take astrology with a grain of salt. However, I am totally addicted to the writing style of Rob Brezny at Free Will Astrology. I just love the gusto and charisma with which he writes, and his horoscopes for the week are always practical advice to carry around in the back of your head. I hadn't visited his site in a while until I left a comment on Sweetlethe's blog about him. Again, my long-overdue visit was no diasppointment. Here's Virgo's horoscope for this week, and I find it vastly appropriate considering my usual thursday outing tonight with a certain friend:

In early April, Star Wars devotees began camping out in front of Grauman's Chinese Theater in Hollywood. That was where several Star Wars films had debuted, and the fans were sure it would host the May 19th opening of Revenge of the Sith. Soon, however, authoritative sources informed them that there were no plans for the movie to be shown at Grauman's. Refusing to believe it, they dug in for an extended vigil. As it turned out, they were deluded: Seven weeks later, the final installment in the long-running series opened at the ArcLight theater a mile away. Let their actions be a guide for what not to do this week, Virgo. Don't you dare sit and wait for a supposedly glorious event that is in fact never going to happen. Instead, turn your attention to a more modest success, which will occur only if you're not distracted by grandiose visions

I need to drop it, relax, and just bask in the warm light of her company and friendship.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Could you guys help me out?

Would any of you guys know anybody who just happens to have a spare Canon XL1 Digital Video Camera lying around that The Producer could rent from them? Long shot, I know, but I thought I'd ask...

Monday, June 06, 2005


New update on the other blog.
This morning Dr. Phil was on tv in the break room. A mother wrote in concerned about her three year old daughter's imaginary friends. He said that it was perfectly normal and healthy, and the sign of an active and creative imagination. I found this relieving, as I had a whole host of imaginary friends as a kid. Problem is, I had so many because they kept getting bored with me and leaving, so I'd have to invent new ones.

I was a weird little kid.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Dude... I just found my stuff used on another website. Cool beans!
One year later. Stop laughing! Humor me for just a bit... I simply had to put the sunglasses on. I couldn't resist with the black shirt and necklace... It's so Terminator. Incidentally, today is the first day that I've been able to tie my hair back into a pony tail and not have to stuff the little scraggly bits that hang down the side of my head under a ballcap. It was most triumphant, and much less hot working out in the sun.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Serious abandonment issues...

Talking to Chickpea on Yahoo IM when I turned on MSN and froze the computer. I was reading and commenting on her Stupid Men blog when I just dropped out of cyberspace. I have to post this...she's so adorable:

> grover_flanagan : That's what I like about you
> chickpea981 : ?
> chickpea981 : lol
> chickpea981 : my wit?
> chickpea981 : my 16 year old male's wit?
> chickpea981 : oh sweet jesus!
> chickpea981 : hit it from the back boy is actually cute
> chickpea981 : say yes
> chickpea981 :
> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnndyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
> chickpea981 : come
> baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack
> chickpea981 : A
> chickpea981 : N
> chickpea981 : D
> chickpea981 : Y
> chickpea981 : has left me to my own devices
> chickpea981 : which means his screen will be full of stupid messages!
> chickpea981 : yeah, a month
> chickpea981 : may 4th
> chickpea981 : wrong IM
> chickpea981 : 6 minutes have elapsed since you last paid attention to me
> chickpea981 : ANDY!
> chickpea981 : A
> chickpea981 : N
> chickpea981 : D
> chickpea981 : Y
> chickpea981 : H
> chickpea981 : U
> chickpea981 : T
> chickpea981 : C
> chickpea981 : H
> chickpea981 : I
> chickpea981 : N
> chickpea981 : S
> chickpea981 : O
> chickpea981 : N
> chickpea981 : oops! forgot your middle name. gotta do it again
> chickpea981 : A
> chickpea981 : N
> chickpea981 : D
> chickpea981 : Y
> chickpea981 : R
> chickpea981 : O
> chickpea981 : B
> chickpea981 : E
> chickpea981 : R
> chickpea981 : T
> chickpea981 : H
> chickpea981 : U
> chickpea981 : T
> chickpea981 : C
> chickpea981 : H
> chickpea981 : I
> chickpea981 : N
> chickpea981 : S
> chickpea981 : O
> chickpea981 : N
> chickpea981 : god im insane
> grover_flanagan has signed back in. (6/2/2005 9:51 PM)
> chickpea981 : [animated 'hug' smiley]
> grover_flanagan : sorry about that. Caro called and asked me to check her
> MSN IM, and the computer froze
> grover_flanagan : awwww....
> chickpea981 : did you see my stupidity?
> grover_flanagan : did you just post another?
> chickpea981 : no
> chickpea981 : i just left you a ton of messages
> grover_flanagan : no, nothing registered
> chickpea981 : DAMNIT
> chickpea981 : i'll have to email it to you
> grover_flanagan : I'm sure it was all nothing short of poetry


I hate this social purgatory that I'm stuck in. My previous relationship died, but now I'm in afterlife's waiting room, twiddling my thumbs until my number is called. I'm no longer attached, but I'm still living in the same situation. I am not married, yet neither am I single. I'm told that it's ok to start dating, but who the hell is going to shag somebody still technically married, and living with his ex and her family? I can see it now:

"Come on over baby, it's all right. Everybody will stay downstairs and be real quiet... you won't even know they're there."

Riiiiiiiight. I'm so frustrated in every way a person can be. This concludes today's "poor Andy" rant.
"And the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls..."
Window on an old warehouse. I like the way the inside windows slant opposite to the outside window sill. Missing pane is the icing on the cake.
Old Packard dealership. Now a museum.
Flowers in a back alley in the Oregon District.
Alley in the Oregon District.
Bridge on Wayne St.
I love to think that this was a functioning warehouse at one time, back in the 20's and 30's.
I love this row of buildings.
Another attempt to take ordinary street numbers out of context to abstract them.
Detail of a gate outside a bar. As I knelt down to focus, some dude opened the glass doors behind the gate and said "What do you think you're doing??" I told him I was just taking a picture of the iron. He said ok.
Dublin Pub, just outside of the Oregon District. I liked the whole "Irish Catholic" feel of the steeple behind the Irish pub.
Dayton. The area under the train tracks is the old station from the photo post a few weeks ago.
Nightlight in our downstairs bathroom.
On Wayne St. I was driving around killing some time, and I had to pull over and get this.
Sidewalk on Fifth St. These blocks are a wonderfully deep purple. Too bad the color didn't come through.
on the sidewalk between the art building at Sinclair and the parking garage.
Armand being as cute as ever.
Cossette on the monitor (right before I shoo'ed her off).
Mama and baby bird on top of some shepherd's hooks in the garden center at work.
On Third St. in Downtown Dayton. I've wanted for years to take the time to get this picture.

It's payday...

and I know you all are just salivating for the next round of photos. Well, good ol' rent is due (and that sucks up most of my first paycheck of the month), so I have just enough spending cash to either:

A) get another roll processed, or
B) hang out with Angela tonight

Frankly, guys, the film can wait. All y'all's gonna have to sit tight till next week.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

I'm a perv with a purpose


I just took the Kinsey Institute's onlineMART Study. At the end, it gives you a subject number, and says that if you live in or near Bloomington, Indiana, you can volunteer to participate in further studies by sending them an email. I figured, what the hell, Bloomington is only an hour and a half from here.

So I did. :-)

I've always thought that I look at sex from a different angle than most other people. In online chat rooms, everybody wants to "cyber", but that bores me to absolute tears. I want to discuss people's attitudes, philosophies, motivations, past experiences, secret desires, origins... you know, the real stuff, not fluffy sexy talk. It's really rare to find an honest and intelligent conversation about sex out there. I lost hope and stopped looking a good while ago.

Then I saw the movie and realized holy shit, that's exactly what I'm interested in! The real deal. Research to help the scientific community. There's still ongoing research at the KI, I'm just about as ideal a candidate as they could hope to find. Here's to hoping they email me back!
I usually try to keep the movie posts to a minimum, but last night I rented a dvd which was possibly the most perfect (and I mean absolutely flawless) film I'd seen in recent history.


Run, don't walk, to the nearest video store and get this movie. A beautiful cast, beautiful cinematography, and the dialogue was written so tight, not a single line was wasted. The last time I said this was about "De Lovely", and even that started to drag toward the end. Kinsey kept bringing it all the way to the end. I was actually dismayed when the credits rolled... more, please!

At first I was hesitant about watching it. I thought this movie would be nothing but people telling stories about having sex in a whole catalogue of freaky ways, and as I am not doing that (and won't be for a very very very long time), the last thing I needed was lemon juice poured over that festering paper cut. Instead, I was treated to the beautifully told story of Al Kinsey's struggle to document and answer the most basic questions of human sexuality, liberally sprinkled with intelligent and clever humor, mercifully devoid of any crude shots. Kinsey tried so hard to quantify and categorize sex, and all along didn't realize that it is near impossible to seperate "Sex. No, I'm sorry, FUCKING..." from matters of the heart, as so poignantly berated to Kinsey by his assistant Clyde, played by Peter Sarsgaard. I love movies with soul, and this one definitely shows just what a crazy, unpredictable, and wonderful thing the human heart is.

Well... that, and nude scenes from Laura Linney (droooool!), and a not just passing, but lingering full frontal from Peter Sarsgaard (DROOOOOOOLLLL!)