This is going to come out all wrong, but...

Anyway... I've been thinking lately on the topic of jealousy. It had been proposed to me that women appreciate a certain amount of jealousy from men. I don't find that unreasonable at all, and actually quite understandable. First off, let's look at dictionary.com's first definition of 'jealous':

Fearful or wary of being supplanted; apprehensive of losing affection or position

Ok, for a man to be jealous of a woman, he must be fearful of being replaced, or of losing her affection, or of his position in her heart. I have to say that I am not immune to jealousy. Although admittedly my usual attitude is one of "Oh, so you think he's cute do you?? Well... I'll hold the video camera and jump in a bit later.", I do actually get jealous, sometimes to an intensity powerful enough to shake the ground. It simply lies in a place within me where it doesn't in most other men.

Remember when I wrote the line: "I don't want to be the center of your universe, just one of the brighter stars shining within you."? That encapsulates this topic in one sentence. Do I get jealous of women? Sure as hell I do! There's nothing harder on my heart to admire somebody as completely as I tend to do, and then watch or read about them living experiences (social, sexual, educational, career-wise, etc.) that I desperately wish to do myself, but cannot. This sparks a blaze of jealousy.

But... if ever I am let in, if ever I am given acceptance, if ever I become a part of, and one of the stars shining in that person's universe (in whichever aspect)... suddenly the envy dissipates and dissolves into joy.

Yes, I was passionately jealous of you, until you accepted me. Now all is heaven, and you can do no wrong in my eyes. Whatsoever.