Sophie broke up with me today.

She simply said that it wasn't working out, and she wasn't feeling it. It's not my business to go into any more details of her reasons, that's between her and I. Suffice to say they're valid, and it's nothing against me. She said that I'm a great guy on so many different levels. But, as Bonnie Raitt sang, you can't make your heart feel something it won't.

Sure, I was stunned. But I'd be lying to you if I said I didn't see some foreshadowing over the last week or two that I tried my best to ignore. We went too fast, I think I didn't give her enough space, and basically we devolved into a married couple pretty quickly.

I spoke so highly of her on here. I still adore her, and stand in awe of her. In my mind, Sophie stood for all that was good in people. But I can't count on both hands how many times I've heard "There's plenty of other women out there" just this evening, and I wonder how long it's going to be before statements of adoration appear on this blog again. How long will it be before I start a post with a line like "I met someone today...", and you all leave comments like "I'm so happy for you!!" I can't bear the thought. I don't want to meet anybody else.

I miss her already. She had become my best friend. She brought out a person in me that I didn't know existed back when I was lonely, agitated, angry, and bitter. She gave me the gift of happiness. That level of contentment and serenity doesn't just go away, it sticks with you. It has become part of my personality over the last three months. It's kinda funny, but the wonderful traits I found in myself through her have become the very coping mechanism with which I'm dealing.

Crushed? Heart broken? Yeah. I'm feeling a little bruised. When we had our final hug, I dug my nose into her shoulder and took in her scent one last time. It hurts right now... but you know me.



I'll pull through, even if I have to force myself to laugh from time to time.