More typical mid-20's ponderings
I often talk to Andy, the guy who runs the Receiving department. There are four Andys (including myself) in this store. Anyways, I've always been impressed with his sharp wit and sense of humor, how well-spoken he is, and how he seems so content to be doing what he is doing. Definitely one of those people immediately identifiable as being smarter than the average bear.
Today I really began to wonder why he's so happy. He earns minor duckets at a thankless job which entails driving a forklift, BS-ing with truckers and sweeping the floors. I had to wonder... when it comes to being happy, what it is that he knows and I don't? There is obviously some concept he has full grasp of that I have yet to even scratch the surface of. What am I missing?? I'm putting on this huge bloated dramatic lament about where I am, and this guy just seems happy as a clam to be where he is. I feel like a huge dolt.
P.S. I did get around to mentioning this to him, to which he rolled his eyes and said, "Oh no, not the 'if you would only just apply yourself' speech again!" Then it struck me: He's exactly like me... another above-average but underacheiving (ragingly ADD) kid left to fend for himself growing up. I've heard the 'apply yourself' speech a thousand times. Am I going to end up that way? Am I doomed to settle into a substandard life and occupation, having exhausted of and given up on trying to reach my goals in life? This frightens me greatly.
Today I really began to wonder why he's so happy. He earns minor duckets at a thankless job which entails driving a forklift, BS-ing with truckers and sweeping the floors. I had to wonder... when it comes to being happy, what it is that he knows and I don't? There is obviously some concept he has full grasp of that I have yet to even scratch the surface of. What am I missing?? I'm putting on this huge bloated dramatic lament about where I am, and this guy just seems happy as a clam to be where he is. I feel like a huge dolt.
P.S. I did get around to mentioning this to him, to which he rolled his eyes and said, "Oh no, not the 'if you would only just apply yourself' speech again!" Then it struck me: He's exactly like me... another above-average but underacheiving (ragingly ADD) kid left to fend for himself growing up. I've heard the 'apply yourself' speech a thousand times. Am I going to end up that way? Am I doomed to settle into a substandard life and occupation, having exhausted of and given up on trying to reach my goals in life? This frightens me greatly.
posted by Grover at 12/27/2004 09:25:00 AM
6 Comments:
Contentment.
The greatest breach in society is that people are no longer satisfied with what they have, always on a neverending quest to be the best.
The apply yourself speech gets yelled at many of us that don't make what modern society considers enough effort to be better. Or rather, be wealthier. Happiness is a much more admirable target, and one actually worth putting in some effort to achieve. Luckily, it seems to me that happiness is just another word for contentment - being comfortable with who you are, where you are, what you are, where you're going - even if that is nowhere much.
When calling your life "substandard", be sure you know what standard you are looking at, and if you really want that.
The truly important things in life are family, children, love, honesty, community, and the planet. From what I've read of you, you have most of those already. You're married, if waking up to her smile is 'substandard', then rethink things.
I get the apply yourself speech regularly. I went through education, got myself a degree, and a post-graduate degree.... Now I do nothing. Am I satisfied? Not entirely, the world is too mucked up to be so, but I'm happy with what I have, I'd love a family, children if I'm fortunate - but if not, then that's that.
Sorry for the long comment, I just think you're great as you are, and that you shouldn't worry about being more than that.
It depends on your personal definition of substandard, how you compare yourself to other people, and what your goals are. Orbling has it right.
I've heard that speech quite a bit myself. But in all honesty, it's my life and my decision to do what I want. And the same goes for you as well.
I want to give you the same speech as the other commenters, be happy with what you have, it's okay for you to work at Lowe's forever, your job doesn't define who you are, blah blah blah.
But, I'm in your same boat, I think. I would be happy in a job where I was helping people, made enough money for my own apartment, enough to take care of myself and pets, and had wonderful friends, possibly a boyfriend of some kind. But, my parent's wouldn't be. They push me to get my degrees and get a great job, because that's what success is. God forbid I drop out of college.
Society tells us, money and wealth define who we are. We're not anyone unless we have designer labels, a well paying 'career', and an SUV. The younger you acquire those things the higher up the chain you start. You have to have the next bigger, the newest of the new, the better than your neighbors, etc.
All I can say is I'm right there with you...trying to figure out my standard and the path I want to take in life.
Remembering at all times that what society tells us is frequently wrong, or at least bad.
Never do something because you think that it is expected of you, just do what you think is right. That is all anyone can ever achieve.
I don't want a lot of money. I'm pleased as punch with my Toyota. The ideal I carry in my head is, yes, influenced by what I see in movies and on TV, and also by what I read in others' blogs. What gets me going, though, is not what they have, but what they are doing.
Bluntly, I am lonely, and I have zero freedom. My wife is anti-social and a bit of a control freak, so not only do we never go out to do anything other than run errands or grab a bite to eat, but I have no means of striking out and doing my own thing. I had a thing. I used to play the guitar. I even recorded a song. Now, if I have 5 uninterrupted minutes a day to stare blankly at a wall, I call it a good day. I want to have friends, but there is neither room nor time for them in my existance, and it hurts. It really hurts. That hurt turns into insecurity and then I start questioning everything, which leands to posts like this one.
Honestly spoken.
Loneliness is not something you should have to live with, you need more space and more time for yourself, and you *need* friends.
Friends really aren't an optional component of life, without them life can be very painful, unless you have a huge loving family.
Your wife needs to loosen the reins, and live a little. If she won't give you personal space, then find more that you can do together. Anything that gives you a break from the norm.
New Years resolution for you, take more time for myself.
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