So tonight as school I was in the print lab waiting for a computer with a scanner to open up. There was a girl from another class wretching over their projects, which dealt with couples. She kept jokingly saying things like "Oh, I hate couples.", "I'm so anti-couple", and "You people make me sick." Out of nowhere I blurted "Why?" She said something about Valentine's Day, and I said "Lemme guess... Valentine's Day is the lemon juice on your paper cuts." She says yeah. I say "Me too." I don't think she heard me.
Later on that night, I heard her lamenting her singleness again as her classmates ribbed her about it. My brain was screaming "Say something jackass!!", but for the life of me I couldn't generate a single word. Every doubt I've ever had came flooding to the forefront. As I was leaving for the night, she was talking with some other people and a few instructors, critiquing a print, the gaggle blocking the hall. I stopped to listen to their conversation, and at one point said something to her I thought was funny.
They all go silent, and two people turn to me with "Who the fuck are you?" expressions. I hurry out and run to the car, so embarrassed I want to die.
So I head over to L&V to unwind over coffee before going home. Some people have brought in instruments and are jamming incoherently. At one point, a strikingly attractive girl with an absolutely angelic voice picked up the guitar and started playing and singing Jewel's "You Were Meant for Me". The dude with the bass obviously had no idea how the song goes, and kept playing seemingly random notes at a random beat, and threw her off horribly to the point where she flubbed and had to stop and restart twice. When she finished, nobody clapped except me, quitely. She didn't hear me, nor did she look up to see me applauding her.
In the bar's silence, she grabs her coat and hurries out the door, looking so obviously embarrassed that she'd rather die. She'll always think back to that moment when nobody clapped. She'll never know that somebody enjoyed and appreciated her, and applauded her, if only she would've looked up.
Later on that night, I heard her lamenting her singleness again as her classmates ribbed her about it. My brain was screaming "Say something jackass!!", but for the life of me I couldn't generate a single word. Every doubt I've ever had came flooding to the forefront. As I was leaving for the night, she was talking with some other people and a few instructors, critiquing a print, the gaggle blocking the hall. I stopped to listen to their conversation, and at one point said something to her I thought was funny.
They all go silent, and two people turn to me with "Who the fuck are you?" expressions. I hurry out and run to the car, so embarrassed I want to die.
So I head over to L&V to unwind over coffee before going home. Some people have brought in instruments and are jamming incoherently. At one point, a strikingly attractive girl with an absolutely angelic voice picked up the guitar and started playing and singing Jewel's "You Were Meant for Me". The dude with the bass obviously had no idea how the song goes, and kept playing seemingly random notes at a random beat, and threw her off horribly to the point where she flubbed and had to stop and restart twice. When she finished, nobody clapped except me, quitely. She didn't hear me, nor did she look up to see me applauding her.
In the bar's silence, she grabs her coat and hurries out the door, looking so obviously embarrassed that she'd rather die. She'll always think back to that moment when nobody clapped. She'll never know that somebody enjoyed and appreciated her, and applauded her, if only she would've looked up.
posted by Grover at 2/23/2006 12:45:00 AM
3 Comments:
...or if you had clapped louder. Two situations in one nite where you were not confident enough to speak out and clap out, so to speak. Life is too short to be meek. Live!
True... true.
Boldness has never been one of my strong points, and I've let timidity hold me back on so many occasions. I'm almost ashamed.
regrets, I've had a few too. I hope you run into that singer again sometime and have a chance to tell her how you appreciated her singing. That would make both of you happy.
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