When I signed up to go into the Air Force back in 1997, I was 30 pounds overweight. I have always been a bit of a chunk, and chocolate and baked sweets (and simply overeating in general) have always been my downfall, preventing me from losing weight. Sure, I always wanted to look better or lose the belly a little, but those were such vague objectives they never panned out. Armed with a sharply focused purpose, though, I quit eating junk food cold-turkey, started eating a lot of Subway (before that Jared guy got famous), and lost that 30 pounds in about four months.
Normally, when I get hungry, I get panicky and scramble for anything nearby that I can stuff in my mouth. Back then, I decided to own my munchies instead of letting them own me. I took the urge to snack as a challenge, like my stomach was calling me a chump. I am nobody's chump, so I revelled in my hunger like a prisoner holding his head high, refusing to let his spirit be trampled. The pounds melted off.
I am now at the second heaviest point I've ever been at. I sigh heavily when bending over to tie my shoes when sitting. On the pallet scale at Stillwater, I weigh myself each week to watch for any upward or downward trends. The last several months, week after week, it's been the same: 265, 265, 265...
Two days ago I cut the crap out of my diet, and today I really looked back at my attitudes back in 97, and re-discovered the feelings I just shared with you. I now have a crystal clear purpose for taking the excess bulk off. It's taken me a while to believe it, to admit it to myself, but there is somebody who wants to meet me, and in December, I'm flying out to visit with her for a week. I want to be as least overweight as possible. I'll always be a big guy, but right now I'm just too damned big.
Food used to be my comfort. Now, as I sit here with a massive case of the munchies despite a substantial and nutritious dinner, I realize that I own my goddamned urge to eat, not the other way around. When I need comfort, I think of the girl I'm going to visit, and am overcome with a fresh wave of courage and hope.
Tonight at Stillwater, I think due to the fact that I just don't have nearly as much raw food in my digestive system, the scale read 262 for the first time since spring.
Here's to hoping we dip into the 250's by next week.
Normally, when I get hungry, I get panicky and scramble for anything nearby that I can stuff in my mouth. Back then, I decided to own my munchies instead of letting them own me. I took the urge to snack as a challenge, like my stomach was calling me a chump. I am nobody's chump, so I revelled in my hunger like a prisoner holding his head high, refusing to let his spirit be trampled. The pounds melted off.
I am now at the second heaviest point I've ever been at. I sigh heavily when bending over to tie my shoes when sitting. On the pallet scale at Stillwater, I weigh myself each week to watch for any upward or downward trends. The last several months, week after week, it's been the same: 265, 265, 265...
Two days ago I cut the crap out of my diet, and today I really looked back at my attitudes back in 97, and re-discovered the feelings I just shared with you. I now have a crystal clear purpose for taking the excess bulk off. It's taken me a while to believe it, to admit it to myself, but there is somebody who wants to meet me, and in December, I'm flying out to visit with her for a week. I want to be as least overweight as possible. I'll always be a big guy, but right now I'm just too damned big.
Food used to be my comfort. Now, as I sit here with a massive case of the munchies despite a substantial and nutritious dinner, I realize that I own my goddamned urge to eat, not the other way around. When I need comfort, I think of the girl I'm going to visit, and am overcome with a fresh wave of courage and hope.
Tonight at Stillwater, I think due to the fact that I just don't have nearly as much raw food in my digestive system, the scale read 262 for the first time since spring.
Here's to hoping we dip into the 250's by next week.
posted by Grover at 10/04/2005 10:28:00 PM
3 Comments:
I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life. I was doing so well with my personal trainer and then I went to Mexico. Came back and haven't worked out since. BAD!!!!
Hang in there and if you set your mind to it, you'll be able to accomplish anything. I know you can do it.
Thanks for the encouragement! I definitely need it. I hope your plans to join a gym with Bounce work out... it's always so much easier with someone by your side. When I'd skate with my friend Wagner, for some reason we'd go twice as fast and as far as when I'd be out and about on my own.
Yup, I'm the heaviest I've ever been too. I look back at my briadal portraits and wonder who is that skinny girl with eyes so full of adventure and hope for the future.
I want to lose the weight so the fairy tale will come true at the air port. -He'll lift me into his arms and swing me around before stopping time and touching his lips to mine--
Now, I'm 5'9'' and there's no way any one could romantically swing me around without knocking down everyone within a 15 foot radius. :)
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