I have a confession to make: I have high self esteem.
Hear me out... the idea has been presented to me by several independant sources that I have low or no self esteem. That couldn't be further from the truth. In fact, I think I'm just about the coolest person around. I think I'm beautiful. I mean, come on... how many photos of myself do I post? I like to joke that I'm damn near narcissistic. Case in point:
So while I was shooting for the sorrow project, I was futzing with my camera settings and inadvertantly hit the shutter. Note the look of intense concentration as I'm worrying about proper exposure. Now I've taken hundreds of megabytes of new photos since this, but I'm taking the time to post a now-old one of myself, out of plain old vanity.
Problem is, this little voice in my head tells me that nobody else thinks the way I do. It tells me that nobody finds me attractive, and anybody who says otherwise is just being polite. I know this isn't true, but I can't help but feel it. I'd love to run that one past a psychologist.
Confession #2: I need to lay off the sauce. It makes me post weird shit like this.
Hear me out... the idea has been presented to me by several independant sources that I have low or no self esteem. That couldn't be further from the truth. In fact, I think I'm just about the coolest person around. I think I'm beautiful. I mean, come on... how many photos of myself do I post? I like to joke that I'm damn near narcissistic. Case in point:
So while I was shooting for the sorrow project, I was futzing with my camera settings and inadvertantly hit the shutter. Note the look of intense concentration as I'm worrying about proper exposure. Now I've taken hundreds of megabytes of new photos since this, but I'm taking the time to post a now-old one of myself, out of plain old vanity.
Problem is, this little voice in my head tells me that nobody else thinks the way I do. It tells me that nobody finds me attractive, and anybody who says otherwise is just being polite. I know this isn't true, but I can't help but feel it. I'd love to run that one past a psychologist.
Confession #2: I need to lay off the sauce. It makes me post weird shit like this.
posted by Grover at 2/20/2006 01:54:00 AM
6 Comments:
THAT actually happens to be one of my favorite pics of you Andy!! Cutie!
xoxoxo
You have the most beautiful hair I've ever seen on a man (and a lot of women), you've got great eyebrows and bone structure - you've got it happening, man!
I didn't write this to make you all say nice things about me (but thanks!). Rather, I was thinking about this dude I talk to every week when I clean at Stillwater. Last week we got to talking about divorce. He got divorced a month ago, and he was saying to me "I haven't had this much fun in my entire life. Isn't it great being single again and being able to go out with all these women? How many dates you been on?" To which I replied, crossing my fingers, "Any day now, man." He looked shocked, with a hint of pity.
He's a normal average everyday looking Joe. I don't see what it is about me that life affords everybody around me an endless wellspring of romantic attention and companionship, and I'm laying there parched near death gasping "what the fuck?"
You seem like a really nice and sweet guy, so it does suck that you aren't getting as much romance as you want. Trust me, I know how you feel.
Seems like everyone that surrounds me can just find someone by snapping their fingers. le sigh
I know it's a fallacy to think that we're the only ones frustrated by love, but why does it seem so much like that? Where are all the other lonely people?
My problem is that women (at least around here) don't want nice and sweet guys. They want proverbial "bad boys" to run around with, and I am the polar opposite of that. I'm like the gay friend who'll talk about feelings and shoes and give man advice... except that even though I'll never say anything about it, I'm dying for a roll in the hay as well. :-)
Brown (Dark?) Haired Girl - Yes, I was gasping for relief, and you brought it to me. Thank you.
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