You might have noticed that I haven't been saying boo about Iraq, Bush, Afghanistan, or anything like that. (bad hippie! bad bad bad hippie!) Honestly, it's because I don't think I have anything to say that somebody else hasn't already said. But yesterday in the break room at work, I was talking to somebody and they wondered why we don't just pull out of Iraq. Then a fresh reason struck me.

When I was in basic training in the Air Force learning to salute, they taught us never to put your hand level, as if you were shielding your eyes from the sun. Instead, when you touch your middle fingertip to your brow, you tilt the palm of your hand inward, as if you were hiding something. It's a cocky gesture. It brags that America has never lost a war.

"What about Vientam? Korea?" I hear you ask. Congress never declared war, so technically we've never lost one. Oh, we've run from plenty of conflicts with our tail between our legs, but never a war.

Anyway, the reason we don't pull out of Iraq is because Congress went and declared honest-to-goodness war. Simply for the sake of pride, we're gonna stay there until they can find some lame-ass excuse to say "We have won the war!", and then get the fuck out of that embarrassment. Otherwise, if we just up and left, Dubya would've launched the first war America has ever lost (or, not won. we never lose) in its history.

That, and we'd have to change our salute to palm-out... and that ain't never gonna happen.