Had yet another long and wonderful IM conversation last night with Chickpea. As she so correctly points out to me (again and again and again), I tend to place women up on a pedestal so lofty they're in danger of getting sucked into the jet engines of passing airliners. It's so nice to be proven wrong, discussing the humanity and imperfections that make people, well, perfect. Instead of being a flawless ideal, a far more colorful picture is painted of a down-to-earth (mortal) person who needs just the same shoulder to cry on as the rest of us, and who provides a wonderful shoulder of her own.
It's funny how people who give the best advice usually are in the most desperate need of advice for themselves. It's an interesting yin/yang setup, but if you think about it, when you're focusing on your own problems, your mind is in the emotional/flipout/freakout/touchy-feely mode, where the ability to think things through and make decisions clearly is pretty much shut down. When listening to a friend, the gears in your head shift to the more logical/methodical/problem solving/put-two-and-two-together functionality.
[btw, as I'm typing this, GWAR's "Nitro Burning Funny Bong" is on the tv. Just wanted to give you a totally inapproprate soundtrack to this post :-) ]
Anyway, I can pour my (easily remedied) troubled heart out to her, and she'll give me the most practical and intelligent answers, but then turn around and tell me things that scream for simple solutions. The nice thing, though, is even when we're acting as Dr. Flanagan and Dr. Pea for each other, a little bit of our own problems seep in, and in those moments of logical clarity, free of the emotional smog that obscures the whole picture, we can get a good look at our own troubles. In that small way, helping others has the side benefit of letting you see clearly into your own heart.
A friend in need is a friend indeed, and helps in far more than just one way, whether they realize it or not. In her post, she thanks me, and I have to say that I return the gratitude wholeheartedly.
It's funny how people who give the best advice usually are in the most desperate need of advice for themselves. It's an interesting yin/yang setup, but if you think about it, when you're focusing on your own problems, your mind is in the emotional/flipout/freakout/touchy-feely mode, where the ability to think things through and make decisions clearly is pretty much shut down. When listening to a friend, the gears in your head shift to the more logical/methodical/problem solving/put-two-and-two-together functionality.
[btw, as I'm typing this, GWAR's "Nitro Burning Funny Bong" is on the tv. Just wanted to give you a totally inapproprate soundtrack to this post :-) ]
Anyway, I can pour my (easily remedied) troubled heart out to her, and she'll give me the most practical and intelligent answers, but then turn around and tell me things that scream for simple solutions. The nice thing, though, is even when we're acting as Dr. Flanagan and Dr. Pea for each other, a little bit of our own problems seep in, and in those moments of logical clarity, free of the emotional smog that obscures the whole picture, we can get a good look at our own troubles. In that small way, helping others has the side benefit of letting you see clearly into your own heart.
A friend in need is a friend indeed, and helps in far more than just one way, whether they realize it or not. In her post, she thanks me, and I have to say that I return the gratitude wholeheartedly.
posted by Grover at 10/23/2005 09:48:00 AM
4 Comments:
Hey there Mr. Pants....just wanted to touch base with you and let you know I got your email and will respond in kind tommorow after I have finished my mid-term...then I can get all lengthy and dramatic on ya. I adore you more with every post, take care of YOU...
xoxoxoxo
Yes, got to agree. When we do our mock counseling sessions with each other in class, it's always so clear what others should be doing to be happier in life. Sometimes one of my classmates will just repeat back what I've said and I hear something totally different than what I was trying to say. Sometimes it's not real to me unless I hear it.
Perhaps I need to learn from you, Doctors Pea and Flanagan. :)
Awwww! A whole entry for moi? You make me blush! We make good counselors for each other.
Kellee - good luck with mid-terms. Get back whenever you want, no hurry. :-)
Texas - That's what friends are for... to pass learning back and forth. Just don't take my advice and try to pass exams with it! Have you ever had the experience while acting as counsellor that while your mind is working analytically to help resolve others' issues, you can for a brief moment take a look inside yourself with the same eyes, clear of the fog that gets in the way when you're flipping out over your problems?
Chickpea - I have made Chickpea blush. My work here is done. :-) Like I said, I'll pour out some overblown dramatic problem to you that's been driving me nuts for days, and you say "Well, just do this...", and it makes so much sense... and then I'll do the exact same thing back to you.
Post a Comment
<< Home