Today was a very long day at work, given the morning training session at the corporate office which is over half way to Toledo, and then back for a full day at the studio.

So I stop by the C.H. to unwind. After several beers I am talking to one of the kitchen guys whom I met that very first night I signed the lease here. Out of nowhere a guy near 60 with slicked back hair and a leather jacket starts talking to him in a foreign language with a deep European accent like The Count from Sesame Street (lacking only that trademark "ah! ah! ah!" laugh). Not only does he sound identical to the voice actor for the mathematically obsessed foam puppet vampire, but also (and with GOD as my witness) the guy's name is Vlad.



... although he wants people to call him Wally. He starts going on about this drama between him and his woman of over twenty years. So here's this guy who looks like Pauly Walnuts from The Sopranos, sounds like The Count, and is concluding his tale of romantic woe with "... so I tell her: I'm the one you loves you, baby. L-U-V-S you!"

Anyway, it turns out he is conversing in Polish with kitchen guy, so immediately my interests are piqued. I ask him the basics: How do you say hello? Of course, like any self-proclaimed badboy, he wants to teach the rude slang first. He says to greep people with "Yock Tah Vee Shee?" (online translation pulls up "Jak to wieszający"), which is Polish for "How's it hanging?". He tells me his own personal reply will always be "Dough Co Lee Nuss" (Do kolan).

This means "To the knees." Vlad/Wally is a very interesting character.

I tell him I'm part Polish, and I love shopping at Fancy Food. He says they closed, which I bemoan, telling him of my crush on the girl that works there. He says "Ah yes, Ukranian Blondie. She is very pretty. You have fallen in love with Ukranian girl!" and has a hearty laugh. I guess they're opening up in another location nearby, so no worries. I'll have to temporarily get by without my smoked bologna.... somehow. *sigh*

Wally then proceeds to dive into an incredibly lengthy and equally boring story about drunken driving with a friend, and drunken fishing with a cheap "Mickey Mouse" fishing rod. The story keeps getting longer, and it becomes obvious that he's totally making it up as he's going along.

So after he leaves I lean into the kitchen and say to Kitchen Guy in The Count's heavy accent: "I vould like two... TWO plates of paprikash. Ah! Ah! Ah!". Kitchen guy laughs.

---

Kitchen Guy is listening to this interesting music, and he shows me the CD case. It's a band called Puscifer. Turns out it's a side solo project of Maynard James Keenan, of Tool and A Perfect Circle notoriety. I think I'll have to check it out online once I get my DSL modem in the mail. Oh yeah... I signed up for DSL which gets connected today. Now it's just the wait for the modem to come in the mail.