I haven't been 100% open and honest with you guys. For all my 'poor me'-ing about being rejected and unable to find anybody to talk to, there is somebody I share a mutual romantic interest in. You know, I'm not quite sure why I've been so hush-hush about coming out and jut saying it, but I'm sure you've all gathered a hunch from comments left over the last several weeks. I've been emailing and talking on the phone with Texas Gurl, and I'm going to fly out and visit her in December.

My feelings on this? I can't fucking wait! I'm also scared to death because, well, you guys know me. I'm going to fall so hard for her in that week that it's going to shatter me to leave. It's an interesting dichotomy these equal parts longing and dread. Even though she's mentioned the f-word (yep, fling), I'm worried about hurting anybody, her or myself.

I don't know what it is, but the best way to describe is that I feel stirred from the inside when I talk to, write to, or even simply think of her. It's as though something inside of me is emerging from hibernation. She has inspired me again. I take pictures with her in mind. I write verses that come together into poems when I think about her. I've even created a flipbook animation for her based on a picture in her flickr photostream. Strange things like constellations and bronze statues of soldiers make me think of her.

I had to get that off my chest, it couldn't be held in any longer. I'm falling into a serious case of "Like with a capital L" with with this Gurl. Do I see anything long term out of this? Geographic and educational limitations seriously put a damper on things, but even if this "fling" only lasts one short week, I'll never stop commenting on her blog, sending her emails, and occasionally pulling out my drawer at work to look at her pictures I've printed out and placed inside.