Life as it is known...
... is about to change for I, your friend and humble narrator. Had a chat with the division V.P. of the studio-which-will-remain-nameless Tuesday afternoon. He offered me the position of Studio Photographer. I accepted. In about a month, I'll be moving residence to that sprawling megalopolis and sparkling diamond of the majestic great white north: Cleveland, Ohio.
So I cleaned out my car today. You have no idea. That crap had been accumulating in my back seat since before I even started school at OIP&T. I found things that I hadn't seen in well over two years. I also took the proverbial first step in my journey of a thousand miles... packing and labeling my first box:
thrilling.
---
This evening I was chatting with the neighbor across the street when all of a sudden the sound of tires screeching in a skid pierced the air from a lot closer than was comfortable. Then there was the unmistakable BANG! of car-on-car collision, and then a second bang a second later. Immediately there was screaming and wailing. In my undies I bolted like lightning to the corner but couldn't see anything. Neighbors all around me were on their phones to 9-1-1 saying that a car hit a house, so I ran back to the house to put shorts on over my boxers. A small crowd had amassed a block away already when I got there, and nobody was screaming anymore, so I figured it was panic and not anybody injured. Long story short: skidding was the guy rounding a corner in a pickup truck. First bang was when he jumped a curb into someone's front yard and hit their Honda in their driveway, spinning it around. Second bang was after he plowed through the next front yard and struck the truck in it's driveway. Screaming was panic, but also because the homeowner I guess was trying to beat the tar out of the driver. The driver stumbled into the street and sat down spouting torrents of cussing. After the cops got there, the driver was cuffed and led stumbling pissed drunk to the cruiser, where the cop had to prop the driver against the rear fender so he wouldn't fall over while the cop opened the door. The window was cracked (it was kind of hot tonight), and from a half a block away I could hear the driver screaming "Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!" from the back of the cruiser. I leaned to the guy next to me and said "What a fucking jackass."
I mean, seriously, what is it with people this year? First there was that fucker in the blue Echo I wrote about a couple of months ago, then a week later some guy chases a woman through my restaurant while I was working, and now this. WTF?? This is absolutely unheard of in this quite little town.
Jeez, I almost can't wait to move to Cleveland where it's safer.
So I cleaned out my car today. You have no idea. That crap had been accumulating in my back seat since before I even started school at OIP&T. I found things that I hadn't seen in well over two years. I also took the proverbial first step in my journey of a thousand miles... packing and labeling my first box:
thrilling.
---
This evening I was chatting with the neighbor across the street when all of a sudden the sound of tires screeching in a skid pierced the air from a lot closer than was comfortable. Then there was the unmistakable BANG! of car-on-car collision, and then a second bang a second later. Immediately there was screaming and wailing. In my undies I bolted like lightning to the corner but couldn't see anything. Neighbors all around me were on their phones to 9-1-1 saying that a car hit a house, so I ran back to the house to put shorts on over my boxers. A small crowd had amassed a block away already when I got there, and nobody was screaming anymore, so I figured it was panic and not anybody injured. Long story short: skidding was the guy rounding a corner in a pickup truck. First bang was when he jumped a curb into someone's front yard and hit their Honda in their driveway, spinning it around. Second bang was after he plowed through the next front yard and struck the truck in it's driveway. Screaming was panic, but also because the homeowner I guess was trying to beat the tar out of the driver. The driver stumbled into the street and sat down spouting torrents of cussing. After the cops got there, the driver was cuffed and led stumbling pissed drunk to the cruiser, where the cop had to prop the driver against the rear fender so he wouldn't fall over while the cop opened the door. The window was cracked (it was kind of hot tonight), and from a half a block away I could hear the driver screaming "Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!" from the back of the cruiser. I leaned to the guy next to me and said "What a fucking jackass."
I mean, seriously, what is it with people this year? First there was that fucker in the blue Echo I wrote about a couple of months ago, then a week later some guy chases a woman through my restaurant while I was working, and now this. WTF?? This is absolutely unheard of in this quite little town.
Jeez, I almost can't wait to move to Cleveland where it's safer.
posted by Grover at 6/11/2008 09:16:00 PM
3 Comments:
awe i am so happy for you, but now who am i going to say hi to on my weekly stop to tim's???
ok next question...wedding for my bro..what am i telling him?? :P email me
Did I really just read Cleveland is SAFER than a small town? What exactly have you been smoking? 2 accidents in the span of 6 months is not unsafe. You better get out of that small town mentality before you go up north or Cleveland will kick your ass worse than I do. YOu will soon know hte pain of traffic caused by daily accidents, crime rates, and diversity - the likes of which you've never seen.
I was being sarcastic. :-P
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