Turning point?
So it's Friday, and all I've been able to think about over the week has been personal photography projects to keep myself busy, and last weekend's total overstimulation in the social department. (not that I'm complaining, mind you!) I've had a lot of time to think. In fact, maybe think a little too much. And I've pondered at length whether I'm pondering too much. Yeah, it'll drive a guy batty, but I let the bats out of the belfry wednesday night with the much-needed release of some welcome drinks and dancing.
So here's a breakdown of what's been happening: Tuesday I went and shot a panoramic of the river through town here while it was flooded, and perfected the image on wednesday. Unfortunately, I can't seem to upload it to my DeviantART page, where I've got other new photos (hint-hint-nudge-nudge). I can't even upload it to here, even though it's a only 69k jpeg, and the others are uploading fine. So, you don't get to see it. Nyah.
BUT!
Wednesday afternoon, Angela called on her lunch, bored and broke, so I invited her to pop over if she didn't want to just hang around Honda for the length of her break. Took a couple of shots of her, and she is officially now the first non-me subject in my gritty portrait project. The same techniques I applied to my own portraits yielded very surprising effects on her. While producing a photo that does look rough, the the combination of that and her expression produced a very strong and beautiful image:
Of course, I also got her in a more flattering pose, and touched it up in Photoshop a bit:
Printed a 4x6 of it in time for her to take it back to work.
---
Wednesday night I am invited by friends to go out, so we all meet at the L&V, and then head over to the B. (business names now initialized to cover my ass) Usually, I don't have much fun there, and again the DJ was playing only rap, but with just the right amount of drinks in me, I actually got complimented on my dancing. I just let the world melt away around me, and let the carefree good times roll for the night. It's so much more fun to go out with a group of people!
---
See, for the first time, I was completely satisfied from last weekend in the sexual and social departments, and I could just completely chill out and enjoy myself. I feel like I've been in a state of transition lately, and it's all coming to a head. In a nutshell, I think I've made a giant leap in growing up.
On the radio tonight, they were doing a BBC documentary on the nature of childhood, especially the transition therefrom to adulthood. I've never really felt like a true adult, especially in my current situation, which is more like a second adolescence. I've always said that childhood ends when Mom stops being able to make everything better. Well... when I'm hungry now, and I don't have any of my own groceries, I can rely on hers. When I was sick over the holidays, she watched over me. When I got into a fender-bender, she payed the repair bill (although I'm working it off, repaying her with my monthly Stillwater paycheck).
But lately, I've been obsessing over the idea of getting my own place. Simultaneously, my photography has vastly matured, and for the first time in a while I'm truly pleased with it. I've stopped acting that proverbial teen girl at high school parties who goes off crying in a corner when things don't go her way. Normally, I'm a teensy bit slobby with my living space, and lately I've been doing the dishes and cleaning up a lot more lately. Is that nesting?
www.PregnancyWeekly.com says this about nesting:
What if my new baby is... myself? A short while ago, I wrote a post about being bored with myself. That post came at the tail end of a good long spell of feeling that way... and I think maybe that was a period where my spirit was incubating a bit, not quite ready to hatch.
I just get the sense that I've transitioned significantly over the last week or two. Last weekend's emotional overstimulation of dates with both J Girl and NYE Girl, and the passionate night followed up with a friendly night with Dark Haired Girl, have exponentially added to the immediate feelings of satisfaction and clarity, and the overall sense of growing up.
I'm so confused, and it's the best damn feeling I've had in a while.
So here's a breakdown of what's been happening: Tuesday I went and shot a panoramic of the river through town here while it was flooded, and perfected the image on wednesday. Unfortunately, I can't seem to upload it to my DeviantART page, where I've got other new photos (hint-hint-nudge-nudge). I can't even upload it to here, even though it's a only 69k jpeg, and the others are uploading fine. So, you don't get to see it. Nyah.
BUT!
Wednesday afternoon, Angela called on her lunch, bored and broke, so I invited her to pop over if she didn't want to just hang around Honda for the length of her break. Took a couple of shots of her, and she is officially now the first non-me subject in my gritty portrait project. The same techniques I applied to my own portraits yielded very surprising effects on her. While producing a photo that does look rough, the the combination of that and her expression produced a very strong and beautiful image:
Of course, I also got her in a more flattering pose, and touched it up in Photoshop a bit:
Printed a 4x6 of it in time for her to take it back to work.
---
Wednesday night I am invited by friends to go out, so we all meet at the L&V, and then head over to the B. (business names now initialized to cover my ass) Usually, I don't have much fun there, and again the DJ was playing only rap, but with just the right amount of drinks in me, I actually got complimented on my dancing. I just let the world melt away around me, and let the carefree good times roll for the night. It's so much more fun to go out with a group of people!
---
See, for the first time, I was completely satisfied from last weekend in the sexual and social departments, and I could just completely chill out and enjoy myself. I feel like I've been in a state of transition lately, and it's all coming to a head. In a nutshell, I think I've made a giant leap in growing up.
On the radio tonight, they were doing a BBC documentary on the nature of childhood, especially the transition therefrom to adulthood. I've never really felt like a true adult, especially in my current situation, which is more like a second adolescence. I've always said that childhood ends when Mom stops being able to make everything better. Well... when I'm hungry now, and I don't have any of my own groceries, I can rely on hers. When I was sick over the holidays, she watched over me. When I got into a fender-bender, she payed the repair bill (although I'm working it off, repaying her with my monthly Stillwater paycheck).
But lately, I've been obsessing over the idea of getting my own place. Simultaneously, my photography has vastly matured, and for the first time in a while I'm truly pleased with it. I've stopped acting that proverbial teen girl at high school parties who goes off crying in a corner when things don't go her way. Normally, I'm a teensy bit slobby with my living space, and lately I've been doing the dishes and cleaning up a lot more lately. Is that nesting?
www.PregnancyWeekly.com says this about nesting:
This is an uncontrollable urge to clean one's house brought on by a desire to prepare a nest for the new baby, to tie up loose ends of old projects and to organize your world.
What if my new baby is... myself? A short while ago, I wrote a post about being bored with myself. That post came at the tail end of a good long spell of feeling that way... and I think maybe that was a period where my spirit was incubating a bit, not quite ready to hatch.
I just get the sense that I've transitioned significantly over the last week or two. Last weekend's emotional overstimulation of dates with both J Girl and NYE Girl, and the passionate night followed up with a friendly night with Dark Haired Girl, have exponentially added to the immediate feelings of satisfaction and clarity, and the overall sense of growing up.
I'm so confused, and it's the best damn feeling I've had in a while.
posted by Grover at 1/19/2007 12:46:00 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home