Don't 'cha wanta

No, I do not want a Fanta. Leave me alone.

I bet you support that marriage amendment bullshit

Ok, so in the bathroom at work there are three urinals and then a row of stalls. Ever the social experimenter, I decide to utilize the middle urinal. Mid-stream, some yokel comes in, pauses behind me, then goes into a stall and STARTS PEEING. Yep...if you stand next to a man urinating, you may as well be giving him a bj. Nazi homophobe.

Yesterday some dude was at the middle urinal and I, ever the social experimenter, take the urinal to his right. Old bastard just GLARES at me. Jesus Christ, it's not like there isn't a shoulder-height divider between us or anything! Yep, he beat feet out of there pretty quickly, and you could tell he wasn't done. At full intensity, he just stopped, zipped and didn't even wash his hands. I love Ohio.

Whiskey

Last night I had the very fortunate opportunity to sample several different whiskeys. Running the gamut from delicious to horrifying, here is my breakdown:

Drambuie..."the drink that satisfies". Warm and sweet with a touch of honey. Damn tasty. Now I understand why it costs so freakin much. Naturally, I was warned to slow down on this stuff. Dammit.

The venerable Jack Daniels...bottled sweaty feet. Yuk. I think I'd rather just suck on my shoe insole after a hard day at work. How can you people fucking drink this caramel-colored toe jam?

Johnny Walker Red Label...peculiar. Tasted like fresh new leather and cardboard. Made me think of new shoes in a box. Weird. I wonder why Carrie from Sex and the City never drank more of this.

Canadian Whiskey...not bad. Not quite as sweet as I'd like, but devoid of Jack's bitterness. Having trouble thinking of something smart ass to say about this one. I could go for a cheap Canadian "Eh?" joke, but I'm better than that. Final answer...tolerable but not particularly enjoyable.

There you have it. Tanqueray rocks the Gin house, and Is there any other rum than Bacardi Gold? Tequila can kiss my ass. (that is, after kicking it 4 years ago and I still can't stand the smell) That's all for now. Go out, have a Drambuie and Ginger Ale, and thank me tomorrow! TTFN

This, that n' the other....

Ok, welcome to my new home for updates. I tried a "blog" of sorts on the geocities page...but simply ran out of space. So here I am. First off: I USE CHOPSTICKS. Even when nobody is looking. Shut up and find something more clever to rant about.