Friday, December 30, 2011

I'm trying, really.

See, I can walk up to anybody and introduce myself.  No problem.  I did just that earlier tonight.  After my friends had left the bar, I found the one unoccupied seat and plopped down next to a reasonably attractive young woman.  She looked bored off her ass, so I said to her, "You look about as bored as I am."  She said "Yeah, I kind of am."  So I said "I hear ya.  But I figured I'd rather stroll over and be bored here than bored at home."  Before my wit could generate a snappy follow-up, she gave me an awkward chuckle and turned her back to me and her attention to the admittedly significantly better-looking "bro" types loudly inhabiting the end of the bar, high-fiving each other with their muscles and tight t-shirts.

My problem isn't initiating conversation.  I can do that all day long.  Where I choke is when it comes to plucking  profound and intellectually stimulating conversation out of thin air to some total stranger that I don't even begin to know, within that five second window between "Ok, I'm listening." and "Ok, you're creepy."


You Can't Always Get What You Want

... but if you try sometimes, well you just might find you get what you need.

Ok, so who remembers the show Northern Exposure?  Remember Dr. Fleishman's Eskimo receptionist, Marilyn Whirlwind?

Adorable, isn't she? Anyhoo, as a budding young preteen/teen, her character always struck me with her wise and quiet simplicity, and the way that when she *did* speak, she stated exactly what she needed to, no more and no less.  One episode struck little developing Andy quite profoundly, as she had gone missing, and everybody was panicking trying to find her.  Eventually she was discovered... sitting on a bench at the zoo, enjoying a cone of vanilla soft serve, and contentedly watching the world go by.  Immediately, I realized this was the way to be, this centered state of solitary bliss, savoring two of the world's simpler yet profound pleasures with a perceptual and spiritual depth that most others would simply not be sensitive enough to grasp.

Little Andy finally had a role model, and to this very day, a large portion of my adult personality is still based on her character's zen-like state of sage chill-outedness.

I've done a pretty good job of emulating Marilyn. Some of my most treasured life moments have been, and even still are spent, even if in a sea of strangers, otherwise completely alone. I used to love going to the movies and restaurants, and any number of other activities that most would consider unimaginable without a partner.  They'd look at me like I grew another head when I'd tell of the things I'd done all by me onesy, and frankly, I'd look back at them in complete puzzlement as to why they were acting like I'd skinned a live kitten.  I blissfully glide across the ice at Hobart Arena, surrounded by hundreds of people, as though I were the only one there.

Last night Jen and I officially called it "better off as just friends".  Our relationship has never been better, and I'm closer to her than I've ever been.  But I'm also more lonely than I've had to endure in a good while.  And tonight, as Shaggy has found an amazing woman to spend time with, and thus has been less accessible to me, I found myself in a state where there were none to keep company with.  And I kinda freaked out a little bit.  I'd lost my inner Marilyn who would have reveled in "alone time".

So I meandered down to the L&V, my perennially favorite watering hole, expecting nobody to be there, but instead ended up striking up a conversation with someone visiting family for the holidays.

Turns out he has produced a calendar featuring photographs he has taken of traditional, romantic, and otherwise postcard moments... only interrupted by someone's dog squatting to poop in the foreground.

It was definitely an unusual conversation, and while I'd hoped to have my hollywood moment locking eyes with an unfamiliar yet fetching young lass from across the room, alas such was not meant to be.  Instead, I spent the night happily chatting away with a kindred unusual artistic soul.

  You meet the damnedest people in this town.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Cameron's House, part 2

The infamous glass garage.

Cameron's House, part 1

Outside Cameron's house from Ferris Bueller.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

I'll vouch. It's pretty tall.

Me, outside of the Sears Tower (now the Willis Tower).

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Yeahhhh.....

Well... true to history, my relationship with my girlfriend is falling spectacularly to pieces.  Jen and I make the best of friends, but the last four months have proven us the worst of lovers.  We're on a "time out", and she's going to let me know if she still wants to be in a romance relationship after the holidays.  Call me crazy, but I sense a big fat 'no' on the horizon.

We hung out the other night, and it was just like old times: two friends bullshitting, having many good laughs, and cracking dirty jokes like when we were in the bakery.  She was as beautiful as ever, and I was dying to simply hold her hand, but I'm pretty sure that ship has sailed.

So here I sit in loverly limbo.  Cupid's purgatory; neither here nor there.  "In a Relationship", but lonely as all get out, and with no recourse to alleviate the loneliness but to brew a pot of coffee, surf the web for things that make me laugh, and wait patiently...

---

In the mean time, today the late afternoon sunlight was streaming in through my front studio room's windows, and cast a nice silhouette of my flash, stand, and umbrella onto the room divider:


There's been a slight uptick in photo gigs lately, and it's feeling pretty good to knock the rust off the ol' trigger finger. Did a great couple's shoot yesterday.

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So now it's Sunday, 6pm, and I haven't done a damn thing productive today.  Now THAT'S my kinda day. :-)

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Not a Real Tree..

... but an amazing soy substitute!

I love this damned "Motivator" app!


No caption needed. :-)

Monday, December 12, 2011

Lasagna WIN

Tell me that doesn't look perfect. A tiny bit runny in the middle, but freakin delicious!

Lasagna!

Cheese filling and homemade meat sauce!


It's unclogged!

UNCLOGGED!!!

So yeah, a second heapin' helpin' of the devil juice finally got my drain drainin' again.  A pleasant side effect is that my kitchen sink now empties like a champ. Unfortunately, the little bit of acid that splashed in my tub and removed (quite effectively, I might add) a patch of soap scum revealed just how built-up it is in my tub.  Egad.

Off to the store for some scrubbing bubbles and a stiff bristled brush.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Just a spoonful of acid makes the hair clog go down...

My tub's drain has come to a damn near stand-still, so I buy this psychotically strong drain un-clogger.  It's so corrosive that the bottle is sealed in a plastic bag.  I also buy latex gloves up to my elbows.  So I get home and pour half the bottle down the drain, and....

OH

HOLY

FUCK!!

This stuff is PUTRID.  It's basically just sulfuric acid, heavy on the sulfur, and even heavier on the ASS-id.  Immediately my entire apartment is filled with this near asphyxiatingly rancid smell of rotten eggs and DEATH, so while it's 20 degrees outside, I scramble, gasping, putting a fan exhausting air out my kitchen window and another in the front window pulling fresh outside air in.

I wait the requisite 15 minutes, gulp in a lungful of ice cold fresh air, and run to the bathroom and turn on the cold water.

It doesn't drain.

Screw this, I'm off to the bar.

Friday, December 09, 2011

Who was giving a hoot in hell?

Seriously, what kid at the doctor's office is going to care?

Screen Door on a Submarine

Because I shed like a golden retriever when I rinse my hair out, I bought one of those bathtub drain hair trap thingies. All well and good, except for the fact they made it out of material that fucking FLOATS in WATER.

Of Course

Front Brakes: "So... I see it's Christmas time.  Still have a lot of shopping to do?"
Me: "Yeah, still have a lot of things to buy for people."
Front Brakes: "Hehehehe, that's what you think.... GRRRRIIIINNNNDD!!"

Thursday, December 08, 2011

Out of nowhere....

... comes Evan trotting down the steps.

Evan: "Kate's lying!"
Kate: (from upstairs) "Evan's lying!!"
Me: "About what?"
Evan: "Nothing."

Tuesday, December 06, 2011

That annoying Heineken guy is neither the Old Spice man nor The Most Interesting Man in the World.

Nice try. 'E' for effort.

Thank you T.G.I. Friday's

"Gimme more Friday's"? Gimme more fries!

2 a.m.

...at a steel plant in Cleveland, and I'm fuggin' tired.

Monday, December 05, 2011

My girlfriend is going through a profound transition in her life, and she is making some incredibly hard decisions and difficult actions.  This is a personal journey, and as much as I want to talk about it and walk beside her, this is something she must do on her own, and I need to be a silent support.

I just want her to know that I am really proud of her.
My foot must be delicious, because I'm constantly jamming the fucker in my mouth.

To nut, or not to nut?

The soap bars here at the hotel have a fine print disclaimer: "This product contains no nuts or nut". I'm wondering what the difference is. Like, is there a possible instance where one could say "Sure, it has nuts, but no nut."?

Saturday, December 03, 2011

Saturday Night

...in Troy, Ohio. Someone's tidy whiteys just laying randomly on the sidewalk. A good time is being had somewhere.

Decided to go ice skating for the first time since my spill last January. Doubt I'll make the whole two hours... legs starting to burn. As expected, I'm in the vast minority of people here old enough to legally buy cigarettes.

Working on a knuckle boom lift.



Just to give you an idea of what I've been doing lately.  Namely, dangling 40 feet off the ground in a knuckle boom in a steel pickling plant in Cleveland.