Miss me? Sure you did.

This whole "having a day job" thing has really fubar'ed my sleep schedule, so that I have to be asleep by 11 at the very latest, when before I used to stay up till 2 or 3 in the am. So my online time has gone nearly nil. Basically enough time to log on, check my email, and go crash.

But today, I've set aside a special block of time. Just for you, 'cause frankly I miss talking to you too.

So here's the past week:
1)Started at Tim H's. The job is fun and the people I work with are cool. The customers are cool as hell, and largely an older and devoutly loyal fanbase, so they come in happy to be there, not all in a hurry and pissed off like the burger joint crowd. Most importantly, the manager is uber cool. There's nothing worse than a dickhead boss, and I hit the jackpot this time. (BTW, he's Canadian. Just reinforcing my fascination with the place.)

But, most importantly, the uniform is by far the snazziest of anywhere I've worked. Nice dress shirt and slacks. "They come a-runnin just as fast as they can, 'cause every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man!"

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Last week we woke up to freezing fog that was thicker than peanut butter, so after work, I grabbed my camera and headed down to the river for pictures of the Adams St. Bridge. I think frozen fog is called hoarfrost? Anyway, it's the strangest looking stuff. Snapped a bunch of pictures, and here are my two favs, one each of the fog and weird frost:





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Then, this weekend I spent at the Southwestern Historic District Annual Men's Weekend. In other words, it's where all the men from the neighborhood I grew up in get together, rent a cabin on the lake at a nearby state park, and spend the weekend acting like frat boys. Dad paid my way this year. Got to spend a lot of quality time with dad, as well as hang out with two very locally influential and important photographers. The lake was frozen over, and the sunrise reflecting off of its surface was amazing. The last night there it rained, and the water puddled up on the ice, creating this dazzling mixed surface to reflect the second morning's sunrise. But most importantly, it's not often that I get to chill out by a campfire with my Dad.

Sunrise Saturday morning.


Sunrise Saturday morning.


Sunrise Sunday morning after it had rained.


The cabin from the dock on the lake.


Dad making a very characteristic gesture when he's engrossed in lively conversation.


Dad by the fire.


Dad by the fire.

Special Canada Post

Well, folks, you're reading the blog of the newest crew member at Tim Horton's, the imported and wildly popular Canadian coffee and doughnut shop. I be hurtin for cash in a serious way, and luckily they were hiring for mornings. Nice short 6am-10am shifts which leave me plenty of time to get projects done before class. God help my waistline.

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I told the manager I was a Canadian at heart and just started playing hockey, but I skillfully left out any references to my fondness for Labatt Blue. (Bleu?) The Canadification process has begun!

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Now, on to the more serious and political. I've been a supporter of the long-time issue of whether to create a constitutional amendment allowing non-US born people to run for president. I fully endorse it! There's one person in particular that I think could fix Iraq, New Orleans, and our economy in one swoop, yet our current system bars him from seeking the highest office. Yeah, I think you all know who I'm talking about:



Red Green.

Some laugh, others need an explanation: He's the lead character of The Red Green Show, an adorable little Canadian sitcom that our PBS station carries. If you haven't already caught it, it's the funniest goddamned show you'll ever see in your entire life.

Tell me if I'm wrong: Pass the amendment. Out with Bush, in with Red Green. 200 million rolls of duct tape later, and he'd have the the world's woes REPAIRED. If the public doesn't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy!

Talk about a silver lining.

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I met a girl today. She's my brother's kids' babysitter (yes, she's college age), and she was helping out at my nephew's birthday party today where I was taking pictures. She was particularly curious about the camera, and asked for my professional opinion :-D on some photos she took on a recent trip. She was knock-out pretty, had a quiet but wonderfully pleasant disposition, and was patient and good natured with the kids. Plus, anybody genuinely interested in photography is instantly on my "like" list.

Admittedly, her violet thong helped. ¡aye dios mio!

Yes, defying my usual taste for thicker women, she was quite petite, but with this picture-perfect little ghetto booty that added all the right curves. (god, I hope she never finds this blog) She even asked me for a business card, and several times throughout the day tapped me on the shoulder to point out cute things the kids were doing so I could photograph them.

Do I think she was digging on me? No. But a man can dream, can't he?

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Here's my latest Commercial 1 project, black on black. This isn't the final hand-in, but rather my use of the D70s as a sort of digital polaroid to verify lighting, so I wouldn't burn through all of my ridiculously expensive 'roids.

Heheh. 'roids. And polaroids are just as irritating.

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Well, all, it's past my bedtime. Gotta set the alarm for 5:15 am. It's kinda funny having to adjust my normally-nocturnal sleep cycle. Usually, I'd be going to bed about three hours before I have to get up now, and then be waking up an hour after my shift ends tomorrow morning. :-P I'm kind of excited!

It's midterm time already! Where has the quarter gone? It's already time to sign up for classes next quarter.

Which leads me to this: A classmate who started the same time I did has signed up for a workshop next quarter. It's not a scheduled course, but it counts as a credit, and it basically entails him working one-on-one with an instructor because his stuff is so unbelievably awesome. I'm so happy for him I can't see straight.

Then Liz is entering a print into the Professional Photographers of Ohio contest at their week-long convention at the Dayton Convention Center. I'm so happy for her I can't see straight.

Naturally, being a male, my eggshell ego is completely crushed. Even since Camera Skills (the most basic class) back in the day, both of them have produced photographs that leave me completely dumbfounded. Material that I wouldn't've thought of in a million years to do... and a year into school and I haven't produced a single fucking image that is portfolio-worthy.

So I'm feeling a little stunted at the moment. Like I'm somehow behind the curve. Like there's something I'm JUST NOT GETTING, that everyone else is. It's not helping that I'm sucking ass in Commercial 1 this quarter. I love the view camera, but it's glaringly obvious that my mind just doesn't function in the Commercial framework.

I just feel that I'm staying toward the head of the pack by being an ass-kiss, while the others are doing so by being real photographers.

Bah, my blood sugar must be low or something.

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I tried to be all lonely and depressed on Valentine's Day, but Dark Haired Girl wouldn't let me. Bless her. :-) She picked me up and I spent a wonderful day with her and her girls. Her littlest is even trusting me enough to get into tickle fights. :-)

A Scanner Dorkly

So today, having been socked in with snow and sleet, I decided to do a little experimenting. I found this flatbed scanner for $5 at salvation army, but it doesn't have a tray for negatives. It has a little mask for 35mm ones, but it's resolution is so low that at that size, they never come out looking right.

I decide to see if it'll work to set a negative on the flatbed, leave the lid up, and backlight it with a floodlamp diffused through a piece of translucent plastic. Sho' nuff, it worked! Here's the result of some photos I took by retrofitting 120 film into an old 30's era Kodak Brownie camera:





The last one looks the way it did because I was guesstimating how many times to crank the little knob that takes up the exposed film, and I didn't quite make it. Fortunately, the accident produced a panoramic image of my mom's print shop. :-)


But then I notice that the scanner also picked up anything else around the film, like my hand and the cord to the lamp. So I knelt on my hands and knees and looked down into my scanner that's laying on the floor. I pressed scan and got this:



Dude! I just took a picture of myself with a flatbed scanner! Encouraged by this, I decided to go a little more surreal by placing random objects at arm's reach onto the scanner, and then moving my head in circles while scanning.



Earlier, Dark Haired Girl had emailed me being a total tease, given that there's no way I could leave the house to see her. So I decided to make some scans of... well... use your imagination. You don't get to see that one... it's for Dark Haired Girl's eyes only, unless you ask really politely. Seriously though, is that anything you'd honestly like to see?

I didn't think so.

I was brushing my teeth and staring at myself in the mirror just now when a thought struck me out of nowhere: I'd like to have a little daughter and name her Amethyst, and call her Amy for short.

In Commercial 1, the lastest project was shooting white objects on a white background, and vice-versa with black. Well, when you're working with a 4x5 camera with film, you use polaroids to check lighting, composition, and exposure. Unfortunately, polaroids are FUCKING EXPENSIVE. So instead of burning through $30 worth to determine the final shot, I instead had the bright idea to use my Nikon D70s digital to evalutate lighting.



This was my first shot. While the final shot on film is totally different, I thought this one looked über-cool. For the final shot, I used two flashes at opposing angles and a smooth piece of white paper to create an evenly white background.

I was aiming for a Rene Magritte-esque surrealistic floating egg image. I shot straight down on the eggs which were taped (with hockey tape) onto a piece of plate glass elevated about two feet off the floor. I lit the eggs with a barn-doored flash head and a diffusion panel. For the background, I aimed a spot-gridded head onto a piece of white paper on the floor, hence the crinkles. But I like the texture.

The warm color is as-shot. The only photoshopping I did to this was to clone stamp out dust spots from my sensor and lens.

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Barack Obama is going to run for president. In my fantasty future, I'd love nothing more than to see him elected, thus beginning the process of healing the hideous abscesses that the virulent Republican fucking party and the Bush administration have caused to rot throughout the tissue of our great nation.

...but come on. Let's be realistic. Face it, this is the America, where 50 short years ago black activists were assassinated and school integration was physically blocked. The hillbilly redneck majority will never elect a "goddamned nigger", and that makes me want to vomit.

Maybe it's just the micro culture I live in (the perpetually ass-backward midwest Ohio), but we're too immature and childish a society to elect President anybody other than old crusty white men with an Anglo-sounding names.

good grief...

My dear two or three readers, you may have noticed that I added a new banner. It's for this nifty little service that monitors the blog and will notify you whenever it's updated. Sign up today and stay abreast of the latest developments in all things Andy!

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Today at school, I was in the digital print lab printing off another 12x18 from my portrait project. The DPL is kept dark, save for the glow of the monitors. Jeremy was working on one of his portfolio images and periodically asking for my input. The photo was a Bond girl femme fatale-type image of a model with a sly almost-smile in a slinky dress showing tantalizing clevage and holding a gun. At one point, he asked if I liked his latest change of shading because he thought it still looked flat. I said to him, "Jeremy, there's nothing flat about that girl."

From two seats down on his other side chimed a bright sparkling "Thank you!"

It was her, a fellow student. I must've blushed nearly purple. After everybody stopped laughing, I managed to squeak out, "Pardon me while I crawl under a rock and die." She was a total sweetheart and assured me I didn't need to be embarassed, and that she loved the compliment. Her good humor and politeless only made me blush harder.

Jeremy later said that he thought I knew she was sitting there, and that I was just pulling a really bold move.

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In class, I relayed the story to Elizabeth, and she got quite a kick out of it. It's nice to be in class with her again. I missed her over the last quarter. Speaking of banners and Liz, she's redone her website, Callahan Photography. Take a moment and check it out!

Went to the dermatologist today. Ever since I was a preteen, there has been this little thing the size of your pinky nail hanging off my back. Caro (the ex-wife for new readers) even used to beg me to let her cut it off. But it was always normal skin tone. Well, over the last year, it grew to the size of your thumbnail, and last week, I looked at it in the mirror, and it had changed colors and developed a black spot.

Tuesday I called the dermatologist's office, and explained that I needed to have this thing removed, but that I was a broke college student. They said to come in the next day at 9am for an appointment to discuss payment options. I show up Wednesday morning, and they send me in to see the doctor. I explain my financial situation again, and he asks first to see the problem.

For starters, he says that it's just a harmless polyp. They can be as ugly as all get out, but harmless. He makes a pinching gesture toward it, as though he was just going to pluck it off, while saying "Why don't we remove it?" (he's got a great sense of humor) I flinch away and ask if he's going to numb it first. He says with mock disappointment "Okay... I guess we can do that." A shot of novocaine later, and he's snipped it off and I'm looking at it laying on a tray, finally off my back.

It bleeds like a seive, so he cauterizes it with a laser. Despite the local anisthetic, it kind of stings a little, but my attention is quickly diverted by the horrible smell that wafts up. I ask "Is that my flesh burning?" He says "Yep! Doesn't it smell great?"

What a kidder. Anyhoo, his nurse band-aids it up while he writes up the form and tells me to take it to the receptionist. I do, and the billing lady says "You're good to go."

"What?"
"No charge."
"You mean... just out of the doctor's generosity?"
"Yep! You don't owe anything."
"Well, shit. What an amazingly selfless gesture. That just makes my entire week!"
"I'll tell him you said that."

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I've been bleeding little spots upon doing #2 in the bathroom for the last month or two, and tonight at school, you could just hear the blood dripping into the water. A quick perusal of reputable websites tells me that I probably have internal hemorrhoids.

fuck.

So here's a rundown of my body:

1) had a growth removed
2) got my first gray hair
3) I have hemorrhoids
4) I can't see shit. I need glasses.
5) my back hurts nonstop.
6) the last flu I had kicked my ass for three straight days, not the usual 1 day.

Time to face the fact that I'm not a spring chicken anymore, and that my body has just begun to show the signs of aging. Just like a new car after about 80k miles. Shit starts to fall apart
.

Andy is not a happy camper at the moment.

Hi all!

Here's my first Commercial 1 project, bright field and dark field glassware:




At first glance they look good, but closer inspection with a trained eye will tell you that the shots technically are a mess. But they do look good, especially printed 12" x 12" and mounted on alternating black board for the bright field and white board for the dark field.

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Went skating friday night for the first time in two or three weeks. Yeah, the muscles got a little buttery in the mean time. But it felt really good. Got to chitchatting with a super-nice guy from England who's here in town attending our internationally reputed welding school. I thought to myself "I bet this guy's name is either Colin, Simon, or Nigel." It was Simon.

Videotaped a hockey game and senior night ceremony down in Dayton. Then I played hockey sunday morning. I just keep getting better. This time, I did a significant amount more than just standing there like an idiot. Got to talking and taking advice from a fellow defenseman, but I had to go shower and change back into my civilian clothes after a half and hour. I had junior hockey games to videotape immediately after the adult game. Fellow Defender (FD) was there afterward, and chatted with me in the stops in action through the two junior games.

I did the public skating session that afternoon and got some great skating tips from him, as well as socialized with the other hockey players. Working my way into the crowd there.

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Spent the other night with Dark Haired Girl, and although she set her alarm for me to get up before her girls, her littlest woke up early and was standing in the door. I heard her say "What's Andy doing here?" Dark Haired Girl reminded that her Uncle B (not really uncle, but good mostly gay friend) stays there frequently. Her girl retorted that he sleeps on the couch, not in her bed. Dark Haired Girl said to her that yes, he sometimes sleeps on the other side of her bed.

And then her littlest exclaims, "But not with his shirt off!!"

Busted.

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That night, Dark Haired Girl told me to hold still, and then made a swift move to pluck out one of the hairs in my eyebrow. Ouch! And it didn't even come out. She said I have this great big wirey gray hair sticking out. I ran to the mirror, and sho'nuff...

My first gray hair! And it's in my eyebrow. Hell yeah! I'm gonna be one of those cool old guys with crazy bushy eyebrows.

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Had lunch with J Girl today. Wouldn't you know, her office is right on my school's campus! See, there's our main photography building, and then an adjacent office park that houses the other stuff like nursing and crimial justice. Her office is in that building. She's just a parking lot away from school. Cool, huh?

I swear, she's perfect pal and buddy material, but I just have no urge for anything more. She's even cute, that's not the issue. I just really really really like hanging out with her.

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There's this girl I have yet to mention on here. She and I started school at the same time last year, and I've had this amazing crush on her since day 1 last january. I've just never mentioned her on here because we've never been more than acquaintances, chatting here and there. Nothing meriting a blog mention. Well, this quarter she sits next to me in Commercial 1, and we're getting along quite well. Nothing flirty or anything, just getting along well.

...but I can't help but think that she's somebody I could date without freaking out. That I could happily be her boyfriend and not pine for "freedom" or get the urge to bolt. I helped her with her lab project last week, and we're a lot alike. We are both really smart, but also prone to total ditzy moments at the same time. And she has a musical speaking voice, and laughs like a breeze moving through windchimes.

Yeah, I'm crushing pretty hard.